Keith David's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2017 @ 4:15pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2017 @ 3:03pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2017 @ 4:25pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2021 @ 5:08pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2020 @ 4:44pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2020 @ 10:48pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2020 @ 11:45pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 1:37am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 2:55pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 3:57pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2020 @ 1:42am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2020 @ 7:05am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2020 @ 11:53pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2020 @ 1:36pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2020 @ 10:47am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 12:39am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 1:05am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2020 @ 9:10am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2020 @ 3:56pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2020 @ 12:17pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 1:21am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2020 @ 7:48am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2020 @ 5:13pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2020 @ 3:13pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 12:30am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2020 @ 2:40pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 2:21pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2020 @ 5:54am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 6 Nov, 2020 @ 3:32am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2017 @ 4:25pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 2:26pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 10 Feb, 2018 @ 7:13am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 1:23am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2020 @ 3:42pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2020 @ 9:24am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 6 Nov, 2020 @ 4:07am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2017 @ 4:22pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2020 @ 10:50pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 4:44pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 10 Feb, 2018 @ 6:54am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 10 Feb, 2018 @ 7:20am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 10 Feb, 2018 @ 7:02am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 4:43pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 12:49am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 6 Nov, 2020 @ 3:46am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2017 @ 4:17pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 2:05am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2020 @ 1:16pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 6 Nov, 2020 @ 4:20am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2020 @ 10:19am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2020 @ 11:04pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2020 @ 7:08am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2020 @ 11:39am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 5 Nov, 2020 @ 9:25am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2020 @ 11:35am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 4:07pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

24 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

17 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

3 / 10

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

490 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

9 / 30