It was a hot summer day. My collar was sticking to my neck when I got home from work. I was tired, worn out, and still a single virgin. I don’t understand why I can’t get ladies. I always tip m fedora out of respect and hold doors for them. But I guess they’re a bunch of ♥♥♥♥♥♥ sluts. I went to my refrigerator to get a cool pack of chicken tendies, and I sat back down at my couch. It was getting way too hot when I was watching anime, so I turned on the air conditioner. But… something was off. I was directly in front the A.C., but I was warm. Like the tingly, fuzzy warm. The feeling you get when you see a pair of perky boobs, or when you see a upskirt in an anime. My pants were getting tighter and warmer, sweat dripping out of my pores. I decrease the temperature to cool off, but it only made me hotter. I couldn’t take it anymore as I rip off my constricting clothes. I was fully erect I start to realize. And still am. I look at the cooling unit with curiosity. Was it the comforting white color, or the cool breeze. Was it the soft beeps when adjusting the A.C. I didn’t know. But I had to experiment. I couldn’t fit my swollen slim Jim in the little skits of the A.C. But I persisted. Soon it was in, getting tighter and tighter. I feel the energy coming off of the evaporator coil and the condenser coil. It makes me oh so much passionate. The fan gets jammed with my pre-♥♥♥, but I am not done yet. The compressor starts heating up as I increase my pace, thus increasing the friction. I had goosebumps everywhere imaginable. It gets hotter and hotter, as I feel a sensation reaching up to the tip of my “pinky toe”. Semen shoots out of my penis, landing everywhere in the cooling unit. The air conditioner stops. I feel a connection as I slide my penis out. To this day, I am engaged with the A.C. We plan to get married in August. She sleeps beside me. But I am ashamed as I walk down to work. It still feels good to be engaged though.

i’m have been very serious about what i rate my delivery drivers on doordash.

bringing me my late night taco bell is a grand responsibility to be proud of and not something to be taken as a joke.

i don’t appreciate when it takes more than the 16-25 minutes promised, or when the dasher has the nerve to stop in one area for too long. so irritating it makes me want to rip my hairs out. all of them. (laser hair removal should be free for women but that’s another story. )

i will know if you eat one of my cinnamon balls because there are supposed come with 12.

my house is not far from the TACO BELL and i’ve lived in the area long enough to know there is no major traffic on nearby roads at these hours.