One day a Sunni imam (imam Ahmad bin Hanbal) came late to a debate that was going to take place about whether the truth belongs to the sunnis or whether it belongs to the Shi’a. The imam came into the meeting holding his sandals, they asked “why is it you hold your sandals”. He replied “I heard the Shi’a in the time of the prophet used to steal sandals”, the Shi’a jurists looked at one another and said “but their were no Shi’a in the time of the prophet”.

>Imam Ahmad than ended the debate and said “so then where did you get your religion from”.
>The Shia pimp was visibly shaken, and dropped his copy of Kitab al-Kafi. He stormed out of the room crying those Shia crocodile tears. The same tears Shia cry for the Imam Hussein ibn Ali when they jealously try to claw justly earned legitimacy from the prophet's (PBUH) successors. There is no doubt that at this point our imam wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist Shia shaikh. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had wrote fatwas against jihad!

>The Taliban applauded and all recited the Shahadah that day and accepted Abu-Bakr as the rightful successor. An eagle named "al-ʿUqāb" flew into the room and perched atop the black flag and shed a single tear. A quran recital was held, and Allah himself showed up and enacted a flat Zakat rate across the ummah only applying Khums to the spoils of war.

>The Shiekh lost his certificate and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.[citation NOT needed]

>Bismallah