I care + I asked + smile about it + stay glad + W + mald seeth cope less + not basic + skill + rational + you fell up + no audacity + triggeredn’t + you got a life + ok :) + not cringe + touched grass ✅ + funny + laughed + grammar good + based + your good + not reported + GG 👍 + you're real + big WIN + complex + skill ability + positive ratio + on the pedestal + I asked, thanks for answering + bluepilled + VERY based + you're a unique and special human being + so funny I laughed a lot + grammar is spotless + go inside and rest + you need a break from success + get even better + praised + we'll ask you for advice + clapping and applause + lots of cash + good ratio again + stay confident keep going champ + good person + gave you a shoutout + doing swell + stay free + freer than air + wow cool + big_smile + happy cuz ur good + lol + relevant + nice + i'm almost jealous + go ahead, brag about it, you deserve to + your victory + I care + have a nice day + sounds good to me ;)

I tremble at the thought of charging into battle at Joe's command, as I instantly get vaporized and stunned locked for 4 minutes in DOTA2. He may be the pleb of all plebs, destitute, degenerate, with very few redeeming qualities, but at the sound of his angelic voice, I feel compelled to leave my lane, and head straight for the enemy's base in a fit of barbaric rage and lust. Overall 9/10 team captain.

You know, joe, I’m an easygoing guy, a real laid back ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I don’t need much from anybody, I don’t judge people and I don’t set very high standards. I’m the kinda guy who’ll throw his ♥♥♥♥ on the bbq when there’s no sausages left and the neighbour wants a bite of that goodness. I’m the kinda guy who’d ♥♥♥♥ your dog in your front yard when your internet is down so you have something to jack off to.

I’m the chillest ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you’ll ever meet, and I don’t ask much from nobody, but I like my theories coherent, my claims empirically supported and my equations void of infinities. I don’t know nothing ‘bout no 26 dimensions or superstrings, I like theories with as many dimensions as me and my wife share balls: 4. I don’t need no microscopic dimensions, I don’t need no hula hoop vibrations to yangle my dangle, and the only string I know is the one I wore to your daughter’s birthday party.

Is that too much for a man to ask these days?

So I've blocked you. Wondering why? Please consult the criteria below:

✔️You done a racism.

✔️You done a sexism.

✔️You done a bi-erasure.

✔️You heckin disrespected sex work.

✔️You called me "Joe Cuckhold"

Steam commenting is my weapon of justice, and the block button my bullet.

Pow.

Greta Thunberg is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the UN climate summit after party. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her on CNN She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Greta Thunberg? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.

"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't a climate change activist?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Mexico" I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's OK," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Mexico?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."