MAN had this maffrey over to my house on gracies birthday doing it like fourth of july with grilling and fireworks, He say nothing ALL DAY cept how he clog toilets...ok??

I cook a big meal and ask him what he wants maffrey says 'BEANS' what?? no vegetable no tater NO NOTHING just 'BEANS'... MAFF EATS A WHOLE 64OZ CAN OF HICKORY SMOKED BY HIMSELF. I WAS GONNA REFRIDGERRATE THE LEFTOVERS! maff grabs my home made hot sauce off the table and DUMPS!!! hour later knocking on the bathroom door he been in since and says 'YEA IM FINE'

OK...♥♥♥♥♥...WHY IS THERE WATER FLOWING UNDER THE DOOR???

I get in inside and the bowl is snap in half 'WTF?' he says 'it waS BEanS'

HOW YOU G TO BREAK PORCELAIN WITH BEANS?



This copypasta was written using JChatbuddy please refer to this link if any statement appears malicious, malfeasant, or in error with authoritative sources.

I've been noticing an unusual trend in the quality of Snickers bars over the last decade. I found an old one from 5 years ago and decided to study its composition under my spectrometer and discovered something unnerving. The Snickers bar currently sold in stores contains 43.67% less rare earth elements by weight, when compared to one sold 5 years ago. Do they think they can fool us? It's hard to wrap my mind around why they would do this. Thorium used to make up 12% of the bar, but now it's at 8%, and now there's only 4% Americium compared to 7% just a while ago. It's all been replaced by organic carbon-based matter, like sucrose and poorly crafted carbohydrates. I'm disappointed in the Mars corporation, and I hope my findings will gain enough publicity to force Mars into reverting back to the old formula. Consider this an open letter.

Gracie's mom has got a strap-on.
Gracie's mom has got a strap-on.
I's all I want and I've waited for so long
Gracie can't you see your moms strappy is just for me
I know it might be wrong but I'm getting strapped by Gracie's moms

Gracie do you remember when you mowed your lawn
Your mom stayed in with just a strappy on (strappy on)
I could tell she liked me from the way she stroked (way she stroke)
And the way she said, "Go bend over on the spot over there" (spot over there)

And I know that you think it's just a fantasy
But since you went to the navy your mom could use a sissyboy like me
Gracie's mom has got a strap-on.
Gracie's mom has got a strap-on.

A chess board is divided into 64 squares. A-H and 1-8.
I can describe any piece by saying D7, E4, H1, etc.
Each move is described as two combinations. “E3” (Knight) to “F6”
So if your co-conspirators vibrate your anus in the right sequence you can replicate a super AI making moves on an identical game running parallel to yours. (Your co-conspirator is replicating your opponents moves and then letting the AI decide which move you should take against them.)

But the truth is that probably nobody has cheated this way. It was suspected the cheater might’ve had something in their shoe because they were a known cheater and won a world class game in an absurd and improbable way.
If some one were to implement this, you would write software to vibrate your anus in Morse or other codes depending on moves made by the AI. Remote vibrators are a thing and a person in USA can vibrate a person in China with light speed latency.
In the future, chess masters will both have anus vibrators but will be sending cross signals to psych each other out. Taking international chess from a battle of logic to a battle of wills.

One time when I was 9, I was giving my dad an back massage, i was sitting on his back and wanted to fart but instead I did an ♥♥♥♥ and piss combo so stinky your nose will turn into dust if you smelt it, he immediately jumped up and my hot diarrhea splattered all over our brand new carpets, he went and showered and I could hear him crying, when he got out he made me clean my ♥♥♥♥ with my blanket, he made me sleep with my blanket that night, i was crying so much because the smell of my ♥♥♥♥ was that bad