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R3m1x

Cheng

Iceland

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被你改变的那部分我，代替了你永远地与我站立在一起

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-Vixerunt-

4 Members

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Written on 20 Aug 2023

If you are in a relationship with someone and you trust them
then you make certain assumptions about the past
and you make certain assumptions about the present
and you make certain assumptions about the future
and everything is stable and so you're standing on solid ground
but the chaos it's like you're standing on thin ice
the chaos is hidden
the shark beneath the waves isn't there
you're safe and you're in the lifeboat
but then if the person betrays you like if you're in an intimate relationship
and the person has an affair and you find out about it
then you think one moment or one place
when everything is secure because you've predicated your perception of the world on the axiom of trust
and the next second you're in a completely different place
not only is that place different right now, the place you were years ago is different
and the place you're going to be in the future years hence in different
all of that strange certainty that you inhabit can collapse into incredible complexity
wondering okay who were you?
because you weren't who I thought you were
and I thought I knew you, but I didn't know you at all
and I never knew you and so all the things we did together
those weren't the things that I thought were happening
something else was happening
and you're someone else and so am I
I thought I knew what was going on and clearly I don't
like some sort of blind sucker or the victim of a psychopath or someone who's so naive that they can barely live
and I don't understand anything about human beings
and I don't understand anything about myself
and I have no idea where I am now I thought it was at home but I'm not
I'm in a house full of strangers
and I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow or next week or next year
it's like all of that certainty that habitable certainty
collapses right back into the potential from which it emerged

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-Vixerunt-

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Comments

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☆No♥One☆ 24 Feb, 2019 @ 8:46pm

QWQ

AA 14 Aug, 2018 @ 8:50am

请接受我，我想和你讨论

MindCorePT 12 Jul, 2018 @ 10:16pm

+rep

Принцесcа 26 May, 2018 @ 5:17am

added for trade

爱子8^^ DeadShadows 23 Apr, 2018 @ 11:54am

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