It started like any other normal day. I was just sitting at my computer, pressing F and semicolon repeatedly. Until I got that new mail, the mail that changed my life forever. It was the boss. What could he possibly want? It looked like one hell of a mission was in store for me. I accepted the mission. So I picked up my wireless mouse/cell phone and called up my friend Mike. It was time to do the business, the dirty work. You could see the anxiety in my face. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was getting myself into. Will I find danger? Will I find terror? Will I come back alive? I would soon find out. I suddenly found myself with a gun, in the most dangerous inclined alleyway known to man. Knowing there was only one path to take, I stormed up the ramp. Ready or not, here I come. Once inside the… thing, I-I went around a corner, only to find myself face to face with a terrifying beast. Petrified, I was only barely able to back away from it. Did I mention I was on the Moon? Despite my evasive maneuvers, he was able to take a swipe at me. It was only a flesh wound, but nevertheless I was stunned. There he was, taunting me, beckoning. I wasn’t able to figure out the controls to fire the gun, so I decided to use hand-to-hand combat against the beast. It was a terrible mistake; I had no fistfighting skills whatsoever. My only option was to shoot, so I took aim, and fired my Kraft™ Sprinkled Cheese at the monster. It was clearly perturbed by that action, which gave me the chance to run past it. They always say to expect the worst in these kinds of situations. I was pondering that philosophy when a monster suddenly dropped in. The hairs on my back stood up. It was time for combat yet again. This time my firearm had no effect, I could only run for it, like a quarterback trying not to get sacked. Corners became my worst enemy. You never can really tell if something is lurking right behind it. There might be a painful demise just sitting around the bend, or it might just be nothing, and you find out you’re getting worked up for no reason. I was becoming weary. My morale was running low. My Chex Mix™ had gotten stale. How much more of this could I take? It was just monster after monster, with no end in sight. I had stumbled across this room, trying to uncover the next secret, when all of a sudden, things took a turn for the worst. I tried to make the jump, but my tired legs just couldn’t make it happen. I was done for. It was all over. As my consciousness faded, I realized this would be my final resting place. No one would ever be able to find me, only the lumbering beasts would be able to feed on my remains.