[A pond in a meadow. A hummingbird flits from flower to flower, then flies off as the camera zooms out to reveal the four boys there. Stan is fishing on one rock, Kenny is resting on another reading a magazine, Kyle stands near the water's edge, Cartman is sitting behind him on a third rock.]
Cartman: Isn't this great, you guys? Gettin' away from it all, leaving all our cares behind?
Stan: Yeah, and they said the weather's gonna be nice like this all day.
Kyle: This... is exactly what I needed.
Kenny: (Meee toooo.) [a second later and the roar of motorcycles is heard, making the boys jump up startled. They look around]
Stan: Aww! Not those guys again! [the boys leave the pond and head over to the source of the noise - a group of bikers idling at at intersection for no other reason than to revel in the sound of their own bikes' motors]
Cartman: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, why is it every time we try to have a relaxing day a bunch of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on their Harley motorcycles show up?! [the bikers just cheer each other on, but the motors drown them out]
Stan: God! Shut up!
Cartman: Piss off, you stupid ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥! [the bikers ride off]
[A restaurant. The Marshes and the Broflovski's are dining al fresco]
Randy: Isn't this great food?
Gerald: You're so right about this place. It's wonderful.
Randy: You know what's really interesting is that- [the bikers roar in and stop at a crosswalk at one end of the restaurant, which is called Café Monet, and rev their motors. After a few seconds they ride away] ...what's really interesting is that this place has a new owner, and that-
[An outdoor wedding. Father Maxi presides]
Father Maxi: On this gorgeous day we bring these two together for the most important ta- [the bikers roar in and slow down. The guests and the bride glare at the bikers as they roll slowly by]
Lead Biker: Everybody's checking us out.
Biker 2: Yeah, they think we're pretty cool.
[A diner. People go about their conversations. Among them, the bikers.]
Lead Biker: Hooo! We were definitely turnin' some heads out there.
Biker 3: Yeah!
Biker 2: I was pullin' back on that throttle, and everybody was like, "What is that?"
Biker 4: Fer sure!
Biker 3: Yeah.
Biker 5: Hey- hey, nobody here is really paying attention to us.
Lead Biker: That's weird. [clears his throat and starts imitating a motorcycle engine. The other bikers follow suit, and a few of the patrons look at them] Oh yeah, that's better.
[The diner's men's room. A biker approaches a urinal, unzips, and gets to work. He looks left, then he looks right, then he clears his throat and revs up with his voice until the patron at right looks at him. He turns to his left and does the same to the patron at left. That patron looks at him. Once he's sure both men are looking at him, he faces forward and finishes urinating.]
[The diner, outside. Its name is Ronny's Diner. The bikers stream out of there and get on their bikes.]
Lead Biker: All right let's head out. [the others agree and begin to rev their voices as they board their bikes.]
Cartman: [walking into view] Excuse me. Excuse me! Hey ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥! [the bikers quiet down, turn off their motors, and look at him] You guys know that everyone thinks you're total ♥♥♥♥, right.
Lead Biker: ...What did you say?
Cartman: You know, when people like you drive down the street with your unnecessarily loud motorcycles thinking you're all cool. Everyone is actually laughing at you and calling you pathetic ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. You do realize this, right?
Biker 6: ...Hey man, we roll how we roll, and if people are annoyed or intimidated by it, that's too bad for them!
Biker 2: Yeah! [the bikers rev their voices again]
Cartman: No no, no, nobody is intimidated, actually. Everyone realizes that people who are so needy for attention they need to dress up and be as loud as possible are you guys and sixteen-year-old girls! Just wanted to let you know, you're ♥♥♥♥♥♥' ♥♥♥♥. [proceeds to walk past the line of bikes]
Biker 7: Thah- that little boy just called us ♥♥♥♥.
Biker 2: Like he didn't think we were cool.
Biker 6: But he's wrong. People don't think we're ♥♥♥♥, do they?
Lead Biker: 'Course he's wrong! And anyway, nobody except that little freak would ever say something like it to our faces!
Other Bikers: Yeah! Let's ride! [they rev up their voices and their motors] Let's go! Rev 'em up! [they ride off]
[Kyle's house, Ike's room, day. Ike is playing with a toy xylophone when the bikers go down his street. He puts the xylophone sticks to his ears to block out the noise, but that doesn't work. He goes to his window, lifts it up and yells]
Ike: ♥♥♥♥! [then closes his window]
Biker 2: Did that kid just call us-?
Lead Biker: Ju-just ignore him! [as they ride, a car pulls up in front of them. Two kids in the back seat turn and make gestures to them. One of the boys makes a sign, then turns it around. Both kids hold it up. It says "♥♥♥♥." One of them mouths the word and the boys laugh.] ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, this is ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up!
Biker 8: What's wrong with kids today? [revs his voice a little]
[The desert. The lead biker is pretty bummed at the treatment the bikers have been getting]
Biker 4: It doesn't make any sense. They all called us ♥♥♥♥.
Biker 6: How can they call us ♥♥♥♥? I mean, listen to this? [revs his motor up]
Lead Biker: I know, I know! Look, guys, I think I know what the problem is here.
Biker 3: Really? You do?
Biker 9: Whatwhat?
Lead Biker: Yeah, think about it, guys. You see all the things kids have today? I mean, with their Xboxes and surround-sound entertainment systems, kids today are surrounded by big loud stuff all the time!
Biker 10: Hey, that's right.
Lead Biker: That's all it is, guys. We just need to get a little louder, that's all. [revs up his voice and his bike, and the others follow suit.]
[The neighborhood park. The boys are playing basketball]
Kyle: Broflovski looks for Kenny to get clear for the pass.
Cartman: But Cartman isn't letting up on him. [the bikers roll by and the boys stop playing]
Kyle: Oh, what the hell?! [the bikers roll by with a variety of musical instruments, a siren, and a rooster attached to their bikes, all of them making noise.]
Biker 6: Chicken spears! Chicken spears! Chicken spears! ...Chicken spears! Chicken spears!
Stan: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!
Lead Biker: Oh yeah, now we're turnin' some heads! [blows into one of the two horns on his handlebars]
Biker 2: Let's see 'em call us ♥♥♥♥ now!
[Stan's house, later. The boys present in the living room are the four boys, Token, Jimmy, Clyde, and Butters]
Stan: All right, thanks for coming, everyone. As you all know, the Harley problem seems to be getting worse, and nobody is willing to do anything about it.
Kyle: Yes.
Cartman: Agreed.
Jimmy: I have had it with those loud, annoying, f-f-f f-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.
Stan: Now, we have some ideas, and we'd love to hear your ideas, and I think together we can- [the bikers roll by on Stan's street, then Stan sighs when they're gone] ...and I think that together we can come up with a way to get rid of these ♥♥♥♥ once and for all.
Kyle: Sounds good.
Token: Okay good, yeah.
Cartman: Ni-nice, okay.
Butters: What are you guys talkin' about? Harleys are neato!
Cartman: What?
Butters: I always thought, someday when I grow up I'm gonna get a Harley. Then people will have to notice me, and they'll have to deal with my ♥♥♥♥ for once. The open road! The wind on my face! I'll go from city to city! Rowrrowrroowwrr! Everyone lookin' at me! "Who's that guy? He must be a Hoo- he must be tough!" Vromvrom, vromvrom, vrooom! I'll have my girl on the back seat holdin' on to my fat belly - sure she's missin' a few teeth, but she thinks I'm coool. That's why, when I grow up, I'm gonna be a Harley rider!
Stan: ...That makes perfect sense, Butters.
Butters: It does?
Stan: Yes, now get out of here.
Butters: Okay. [walks out]
Stan: Alright, Kyle and I are gonna spray paint messages to the Harley riders; Cartman, you said you had an idea?
Cartman: