Kyeki » Games » POSTAL 2 Stats

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89 of 89 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Unlocked 16 Aug, 2017 @ 2:51pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Unlocked 16 Aug, 2017 @ 3:34pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 3:30pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Unlocked 16 Aug, 2017 @ 4:19pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 4:50pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Unlocked 20 Aug, 2017 @ 2:23pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Unlocked 16 Aug, 2017 @ 3:48pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 2:30pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 5:50pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 8:29pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 10:18pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.
Unlocked 20 Aug, 2017 @ 9:36am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Unlocked 20 Aug, 2017 @ 4:23pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Unlocked 17 Dec, 2017 @ 6:00pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 2:44pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 5:05pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 2:39pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Unlocked 30 Sep, 2017 @ 5:24pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 4:35pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 8:45pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 5:05pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 5:16pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 7:26pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 10:20pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 5:06pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Unlocked 20 Aug, 2017 @ 5:18pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Unlocked 20 Aug, 2017 @ 4:56pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 2:51pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 3:23pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Unlocked 20 Aug, 2017 @ 5:33pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked 5 Nov, 2018 @ 4:35pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 10:09pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Unlocked 19 Sep, 2020 @ 4:50pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Unlocked 11 Nov, 2018 @ 1:33pm

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Unlocked 11 Nov, 2018 @ 1:33pm

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Unlocked 11 Nov, 2018 @ 1:50pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Unlocked 1 Oct, 2017 @ 4:09pm

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Unlocked 19 Sep, 2020 @ 7:01pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Unlocked 24 Sep, 2017 @ 10:28am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 3:35pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Unlocked 30 Sep, 2017 @ 5:30pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unlocked 16 Aug, 2017 @ 2:50pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 3:53pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 10:45pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked 21 Aug, 2017 @ 3:12pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Unlocked 16 Aug, 2017 @ 3:52pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.
Unlocked 11 Nov, 2018 @ 1:08pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Unlocked 16 Aug, 2017 @ 2:56pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Unlocked 5 Nov, 2018 @ 4:25pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Unlocked 16 Aug, 2017 @ 2:50pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 2:28pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 5:05pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 5:26pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 4:44pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 5:45pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 5:23pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 2:13pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Unlocked 20 Aug, 2017 @ 5:02pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Unlocked 19 Aug, 2017 @ 2:42pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Unlocked 18 Aug, 2017 @ 4:42pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2017 @ 5:52pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.
Unlocked 16 Aug, 2017 @ 3:44pm

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Unlocked 1 Oct, 2017 @ 3:49pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Unlocked 25 Sep, 2020 @ 9:27pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.
Unlocked 20 Aug, 2017 @ 4:24pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.
Unlocked 24 Aug, 2017 @ 11:49am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.
Unlocked 26 Aug, 2017 @ 12:47pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.
Unlocked 5 Oct, 2017 @ 6:09pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Unlocked 7 Oct, 2017 @ 9:58pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.
Unlocked 15 Dec, 2017 @ 9:29pm

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Unlocked 28 Oct, 2020 @ 3:52pm

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Unlocked 29 Sep, 2020 @ 6:14pm

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Unlocked 19 May, 2021 @ 9:05pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.
Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 1:51pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.
Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 2:09pm

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.
Unlocked 25 Oct, 2020 @ 2:32pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.
Unlocked 28 Oct, 2020 @ 12:59pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.
Unlocked 26 Aug, 2017 @ 1:14pm

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.
Unlocked 19 May, 2021 @ 5:34pm

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.
Unlocked 28 Oct, 2020 @ 1:19pm

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Unlocked 28 Oct, 2020 @ 1:25pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Unlocked 15 Dec, 2017 @ 8:36pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Unlocked 9 Oct, 2017 @ 5:48pm

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Unlocked 7 Oct, 2017 @ 9:03pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
Unlocked 24 Aug, 2017 @ 4:03pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!
Unlocked 23 Nov, 2018 @ 6:04pm