RedBabaYaga
Andrew Khoury   San Diego, California, United States
 
 
Eons agone, these lands were rife with gods and their adherents. What befell this pantheon? Alas. 'Tis the nature of beasts to forget, and of Gods to be forgotten. Mayhap they left. Mayhap they slept. Mayhap they devoured and were devoured in turn. Those few who remained spread roots, spun webs, molded this world to meet them and theirs. 'Twere a land of many Gods once. Hundreds. Now... Five becomes Four, four becomes Three, three becomes Two, two becomes One, one becomes nothing.
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Helldivers 2 - Delivering Freedom (and Explosions) One Cup at a Time!

Greetings, citizens of Super Earth! Super Citizen Baba Yaga reporting for duty, fresh off the battlefields of Helldivers 2! As a citizen dedicated to spreading democracy (and a healthy dose of Liber-Tea), this latest campaign left me feeling invigorated and slightly Mentally Scarred, which is basically the Super Earth way.

Liberating Like a Boss:

First things first: This ain't your momma's top-down shooter. Helldivers 2 throws you headfirst into the alien menace in glorious 3D. We're talking sprawling planets, towering bugs, and enough explosions to make a fireworks factory blush. It's a tactical ballet of squad maneuvers, precise fire, and liberal application of heavy ordinance. Just like pouring a perfect cup of Liber-Tea, it requires skill, precision, and the willingness to occasionally immolate yourself for the greater good.

Friendly Fire? More Like Friendly Fireworks!

Now, some rookies might balk at the friendly fire system. "But Baba Yaga," they squawk, "what about teamkilling?!" I say, "Embrace the chaos, maggots!" A well-placed rocket to the rear can be a motivator, and a shared explosion creates camaraderie like nothing else. Just remember, if you teamkill me, you're buying the next round of Liber-Tea. (And trust me, you don't want to skimp on the Freedom Berry Blast.)

Gear Up for Glorious Combat:

The arsenal in Helldivers 2 is a democracy lover's dream. From trusty laser rifles to shoulder-mounted doom cannons, there's a tool for every liberation scenario. Plus, the perk system lets you customize your Super Citizen to be a walking monument to Super Earth's might. Personally, I favor the "Demolition Tea Party" build, which involves copious amounts of explosives and a side of friendly fire (don't worry, I warned you).

The Grind is Real, But the Glory is Sweeter:

Listen up, rookies: freedom ain't free. You'll sweat, you'll bleed (metaphorically, mostly), and you'll face defeat. But with each failed mission, you learn, you adapt, and you come back stronger. The sense of accomplishment after a hard-fought victory, a rescued civilian, or a particularly impressive crater left in the alien landscape is unmatched. Plus, the rewards are worth it. New gear, upgrades, and the satisfaction of knowing you've done your part for Super Earth? That's pure Liber-Tea gold.

Final Verdict:

Helldivers 2 ain't for the faint of heart. It's challenging, chaotic, and requires teamwork that would make a squad of grizzly bears proud. But for those who crave the thrill of battle, the camaraderie of squadmates, and the sweet taste of galactic liberation, this is a must-play. Just remember, soldier: keep your aim true, your voice loud, and your cup of Liber-Tea full. Now get out there and spread some democracy!

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Exploding Teacups (with a bonus point for the epic soundtrack that gets stuck in your head for days)

P.S. If you see Super Citizen Baba Yaga on the battlefield, buy me a Liber-Tea. You won't regret it. (Unless you're an alien, in which case, prepare for righteous DEMOCRACY!!!)
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vacuum egg 9 Aug, 2020 @ 9:05pm 
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