Recent reviews by [C.I.A.] Noxia

Bought the game on sale, cannot join online servers, it just send me back to watch the intro that i cannot skip then forever tries to join me to the server to no avail.

Sad.

I need a Cabal. Invite me lol.

Here comes Arty!

10/10

I nominate this game for "The test of time" award, seeing as it only keeps getting better and better. Oh and I must say, I actually have to have surgery because of this game...I'll explain, gather 'round the fire children, I got a story to tell.

It was many years ago when Rust first came out and I got it on steam, I was new to these survival-type games and wasn't sure what I was getting myself into, since i'm not so much a fan of pvp but I thought, well it might have pve servers too (which is does) but back then, I wanted the full experience and just jumped right into an official server.

I started off naked, in what appeared to be a forest and it was dark, and I mean, pitch black. I couldn't see ♥♥♥♥.

I ran around, thinking maybe my screen is just bugged or something since it was my first time trying the game, but then I noticed a glimmering red/yellow/orange light way in the distance and I said, "Oh ♥♥♥♥, maybe someone is over there who can help me since my character sounds like he's freezing to death."

I ran over there, the light from the fire growing bigger and bigger revealing a 1x1 shack, the original Rust homestead.( i miss it) and I could hear people talking, in what I believe was an Austrailian accent. I had a headset so I started talking to them and i told them I was a new player to the game, and if I could stay inside their tiny home for the night so i dont freeze to death, then when the Sun rises I will leave and be forever thankful.

They agreed and were nice enough to even give me some crafted clothes and some food, too!

Now, what transpired next would affect me for a few years and now requires me to have surgery for an 'Umbilical Hernia' which I didn't have prior to this encounter, but I have it now and have to have surgery for it at some point...so here's what happened.

There was two of them, the Aussies, and just me by my lonesome...We were all squished inside their shack and they had 1 basic chest to store items in that I saw....it was at this very moment that the true meaning of the game was revealed to me, as if God spoke directly to me and explained the meaning of Life.

I must remind you, at this time of the game whoever placed the door on the home, was the only 1 able to open it, so at the moment I was essentially trapped inside with them, so I couldn't steal their stuff and just stand there, they would have murdered me surely i thought to myself...so I waited.

Each passing moment, they kept their eyes on me, 1 Aussie was standing directly on the chest (because there was not much room in the shack) and the other was directly infront of the door, and me in a corner.

I was able to see outsie through one of the cracks in their shacks walls, and i came up with a fool-proof plan....when the I noticed it wasn't completely dark anymore and knew I'd be able to see where I was going, I asked the Aussie near the door if he could open the door and let me know if it was light out (which I already knew it was, but I just wanted to make sure 1 obsticle[him blocking my escape/the door] was out of the way) So he opens it, steps outside, but the moment he opened the door I was already across the room (which is like half a foot away) and inside their chest, I took everything in record time...

The Aussie ontop of the chest immediately realized what I was doing, while the Aussie outside was enjoying the Sunrise, and I ran out the open door as fast as I could....I ran so fast, I could hear them in-game swearing and cursing me and saying they will find and murder me, but I was replying "I'm sorry! I'm Canadian, I don't usually do this type of stuff!" All the while I am laughing harder than I've ever laughed before and directly after I noticed that IRL my stomach was sort of hurting....apparently I got an Umbilical Hernia from laughing too hard...

If you ever hear someone say "Bust a gut laughing" well, now you know someone who actually has, and now, because of Rust I have to have surgery someday since Hernia's don't just go away lol...I think it was worth it though. Hope you enjoyed this story, because it's actually 100% true.