Being a hentai actress must be so weird. Imagine this: you’re in a soundproof room pleasurably screaming into an 800,000¥ microphone about how much you love old man pp at 10:47 AM on tuesday in October while your 45-year-old boss oversees you through a glass window from the other room. You eventually look up after 2 hours of practicing your unnaturally high-pitched moans and see him give you a big thumbs up as you pretend to have a gasm.

An ex once called me at 3:00am crying, she said her stomach hurt and that she couldn’t move without it hurting. I drove over to her place, let myself in and tried to comfort her as I asked her what she was feeling, I told her it was gas and that she should lay on her left side until it passes. After a couple of hours she mustered the strength to get to the restroom and I heard the loudest most bombastic fart ever followed by a yell of relief and then laughter. Good times

I had "a friend" that was a drug dealer and they had a criminal lawyer on retainer. It was actually really helpful 😅

Pistole in der Hand, den Hosenbund voller Geldscheine. Dieses Schock-Foto von Marius Borg Høiby (27) macht klar, wie schlimm es um den ältesten Sohn von Kronprinzessin Mette-Marit (51) steht. Sein Leben? Ziemlich aus den Fugen. Sein Ruf, seine Familie, das Image des norwegischen Königshauses? Scheinen ihm völlig egal zu sein.

The New Yorker articles he used to line their cages with enhanced their already intelligent minds. It was the perfect storm.

You should smile Felix, you'd have more luck with the ladies if you didn't look like such a dour bastard all the time - Imogen, Arms Dealer In Training