I was walking through the woods naked and barefoot when I stumbled across a small encampment of marauders hiding out near the road. I waited until nightfall and snuck into their camp unseen by all but their dog, who was too perceptive for his own good. After the dog suddenly died of a heart attack I choked the men unconscious splinter cell style, lined them up, then one by one crushed the life out of their throats with my supple bare feet. I felt like a new man as I ate their food, and repossessed their belongings.

I walked into those woods a mere naked boy, but I emerged as a battle hardened man with a shiny new suit of armor and a thirst for blood. When I finally made it home I turned on my computer and tried this game for the first time and had a pretty nice time.