Sue for a mil

"Your ass is bigger than my future"
"You see that movie about the guy who fell on his face and caught the Polio?"
"Are you telling me that 2*2 is the same thing as 2+2.. wait"
"Tape your mouse to your monitor, it reduces lag"
*playing sudoku* "Jealousy is the first step to manhood"
"I want to know how big his ♥♥♥♥ is, so I'll just accidentally see it when it's hard so it's not gay"
Shrodingers Blowjob - "It's not gay if you don't know if it's a man or a woman"
"If anyone gets me anything for Christmas, please get me a Vornado"
"Where do you go? Mountain trains?"
"GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥"
"My hair smells like prosthetic lemons"
"His encore is the same song"
"I smell tits. Wait, tits isn't a smell"
"I'm an athlete, a cyber athlete"
"You can't fail if you don't try"
When you die where do you want to be buried? "6ft above"
"What side of your family has the drug dealer in them? It's a recessive trait."
"One of you got the red hair and the other got the drug dealing"
"When I die just slip a pic of your ♥♥♥♥ like on my chest instead of like a sword"
"My ♥♥♥♥ can't smell, it's like a cyclops with Down syndrome"
"Does the carpet match the grapes"
"You know when you fall out of your bed sometimes"
"Can your penis complete in the special olympics?"
Do you know why I don't get laid? "Because you're really good at making friends"
"If you add up all the times that I've sexually harassed her it probably equals sex. It's an equation"
"Does anyone have any incest or nah"
"What happens to your body if you only eat hotpockets and poweraide everyday?"
"Upgrade the Internet mom. I don't want to hear you having sex through the wall. It's like this bang bang done"
"The more you bite off the more you can't chew"
"Thats the sound of my ♥♥♥♥ on the chalkboard"
"Listen here bud, one step forward two steps back... and Im in your moms vagina. It's like a dance, like the macarena or some ♥♥♥♥"
"If girls can have multiple orgasms can gay men can too?"
"I've got to take my pants off, somethings up"
"Uh oh Dylan I accidently called you one of my closet friends, not closest friends"
"As they say, the bigger the hitbox the better the game" "Noone ever said that" "Yeah I think Bon Jovi did at his funeral"
"Sugar free this ♥♥♥♥"
"When girls wear yoga pants they obviously want me to stare at their ass. So I stare at it out of respect as they walk past me"
"If you had a twin, I'd still choose you"
"We might have a different dad, but our moms a slut"
"I can't date her yo, she's bi, it would be every other week"
"I'm going 1.1 mph into that ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥"
"You dont flirt with the cable guy, you ♥♥♥♥ the cable guy" "WHAT"
"Again Noah, you can't dent glass"
"Liam your mic sounds like a slide whistle" "Noah a slide whistle changes in pitch, not volume"
"Whippin out your yamaha"
"I'm so good Picasso would be suckin my ♥♥♥♥"

"I think your microwave is autistic"
"You're like Blackbeard's retarted brother whos a lake pirate."
"If there's two things my brothers into, it's Dyson and pegging."
"Sometimes I feel that women don't see me as more than a bag of semen"
"A real general would never bring that much artillery into this battle"

"If you both play hard to get, then nobody will get anywhere"

"Someone said you smelled like weed, we have it on camera"


"The chronicles of the Eich, the ♥♥♥♥♥♥, the idiot, and the wardrobe"
"What is there in New Jersy that's asian?" "Smog"

"Why are you sitting like that?" "Because he's a gay piece of ♥♥♥♥"
"She say I was following that fitness and followed me, she wanted to see about fittin dis ♥♥♥♥"

"You have to be some sort of God to watch that much porn, Pornelius, King of the porn"

"Picture a circle that isn't actually there"

"My name is ♥♥♥♥ Hardwood, I've got a high school diploma and a license to bang"

"Just stick it in her butt so it's more like a guy"