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THE FRUITLESS BULL PRAYER

Oh Great One,

In our beloved schools, thine name shall be soon be uttered. And the works of your creations shall be revealed. For thy Kansas School board shall be the thin end of the holy wedge, as we ram home our agenda during these uncertain and troubling times.

For the work of the scientists across the ages is but fruitless bull, when compared with your great hand. An in our hour of need do we thus pray to thee O Great Noodly Master, to set the record straight, and to thy school kiddies we do thus pray:

Forget thee Stephen Hawking for his brief history of time was just all wrong
Forget thee Nils Bohr for he was just dumb all along

Forget thee Charles Darwin, for his Evolution theory was all bunk
Forget thee Albert Einstein for his relativity will be sunk

Forget thee Wolfgang Pauli for your spin was just all spin
Forget thee Robert Oppenheimer, believing you is a sin

Forget thee Robert Hooke, your stuff just isn’t true
Forget thee Marie Curie, you were bored and had nothing to do

Forget thee Louis Pasteur you were just fond of scum
Forget thee Harold Urey you don’t know how it’s done

And in thee great scientific advances do I look for a great cause
For it was our Intelligent Noodly Designer that did all this of course

For it was YOU Great Monster, it was just you all along.
Rational thought and human endeavour are really not that strong.

For we are just hapless pawns, really just quite small. Our religion has all the answers; there’s no need to think at all.

So pack up your science texts kiddies, for true enlightenment has begun. The Flying Spaghetti Monster will show how faith based science is done.

R'Amen