Recent reviews by Phaze

I smile so much while playing this game that it's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited!

But not you, Beth.

You know what you did.

♥♥♥♥ YOU BETH!!!

Two of my instant-classics:

https://i.imgur.com/50obHld.gif
I roar when I sleep.
This caused browning of my pants.
Will my pants fall off?

https://i.imgur.com/SR9UXiX.gif
I shall ride the swan.
She can sense I'm a sick guy.
I am long and hard.

You're welcome, internet!

Officer, hear me out: My cute anime girlfriend covered in nut sauce might look 11, but she's 18!

HONEST!!!

Are the cuffs really necessary?

Aw, man....

I used this program to determine if I should have Chinese (heads) or Mexican (tails) food for dinner.

It came up tails and I had explosive diarrhea the rest of the night.

F*CK YOU, YOU COIN-FLIPPING PIECE OF CRAP!

PS- Still giving it a thumbs-up because the Mexican food was delicious.

Is this game un-American? They call it a ladyBIRD and not a ladyBUG, so you tell me!

FACT: Non-Americans don't know the difference between birds and bugs!

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!!

Boobs.

Bazooms, Beanbags, Blinkers, Bon Bons, Bongos, Boulders, Bra Buddies, Bumpers, Cantaloupes, Cha-chas, Coconuts, Fog Lights, Fun Bags, Gazongas, Gob Stoppers, Grapefruits, Head Lamps, Honeydews, Honkers, Hood-Ornaments, Hoohas, Hooters, Howitzers, Jugs, Knockers, Mammaries, Melons, Milk Cans, Pompoms, Snuggle Pups, Spongecakes, Sugar Plums, Sweater Meat, Sweet Rolls, Tatas, Tetons, Torpedoes, Zeppelins....

This game's got 'em.

10/10 (5 points per boob).

I bought this game back in '03 when it was originally released and I liked it so much that when it went on sale on Steam for a paltry two-fiddy, it was a no-brainer to re-purchase it.

The real reason I bought it on Steam, however, was for the achievements.

Normally I couldn't give a flying fudgesicle about achievements, but this game not only gives you an achievement for peeing on someone until they puke, but also one for drinking your own pee. Add another one for "luring a police officer with a píss-soaked donut," and you've pretty much exceeded your pee quota for the week.

Oh yeah, the non-pee related parts of the game are pretty fun too.

Buy Postal 2. Buy it now.

I can say without hesitation that urine for a good time!

My personal Game of the Year 2012 (barely edging out Far Cry 3 for that honor).

Gorgeous game world with some of the best hand-to-hand combat of any game out there (Well, not as good as the Batman Arkham series but pretty damn good).

A must-play if ever there was one.