Skrrrrrt

Once upon a time, there was a little fish. It was no ordinary fish. It was a rare and magical fish. Contained within it was the secret to boundless wealth. One day, unbeknownst to the fish, it was spotted by a young village boy. The boy walked up to the river that he saw the fish in and asked how it was to live underwater. The fist, hesitated, knowing the ways of men to be ruthless and conniving. But the fist saw no danger in the situation. He swam over to the little boy and said, in a low rumbling voice,

"Oi ♥♥♥♥ me if I know ya cheeky bastard".

The little girl was taken aback by the sudden sound.

"Fish can't speak you arsehole", she replied.

There was a tenseness. Slowly, the fish reached into its pouch next to his gills, and the young girl bent over and reached for a rock. There was another tenseness. Fearing war was immanent, the fir tree had contemplated busting a cap in that little girl's ass, but decided to pull out his travel sudoku booklet to give friendship one last chance. The adolescent girl had reached for the rock anticipating a gun, for, while she did desire the boundless wealth to be discovered within the fig fruit, she was not about to let a fig get figgy with it. Donning his reading glasses required for such small print, and donning her stone throwing glasses for +3 accuracy on underwater targets, they each pulled forward their respective tools. Their eyes locked, and there was a tenseness. After fiddling around in her dress pocket, which was all the rage those days in the village, the adolescent girl found her spare key to unlock their eyes. What a mess they had created.

The physical proximity of locked eyes awoken something in both the fish and the girl. Suddenly, swiftly, silent and secret, they wound around each other's core. Finding therein that they both didn't clean their core's as much as they ought, despite mother's incessant reminders, the magic of the moment was lost.

"You have a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ core there little ♥♥♥♥♥ piece of shapeshifting twa.t"

"And yous aint had a chimney sweep come through in ♥♥♥♥♥♥' years"

There was a tenseness.

"Wait, ♥♥♥♥, wasn't I a boy before?"

"I don't sup'ose I know what either are."

"Oh yeah, you're a fish."

There was a lightheartedness. The magic had slightly returned. They chatted for a while about this and that. And then they chatted about that and this, and laughed realizing they had chatted about the same things but in reverse order. The boy twirled his hair at the fir tree, or attempted to, for he was a girl when her hand began to move, and was a boy when his hand arrived there. There was a sexual tension. There was a sexual confusion. For love between tree and boy is forbidden, whereas love between tree and girl, is expressly allowed. Such a twist of cruel fate to be made a boy as was the romantically forward gesture made.

"I was certain I had gotten the hang of that."

"Again, fish here, I dudn't know what yous fidd'lin on about.'"

The railroad tracks were a lovely shade of brown this time of year, the rain and sun lathers and tans and lathers and tans them until the reach a rather sultry shade. Little did either know, that the boundless wealth found within the fish was not a literal boundless wealth. It was a map of sorts, one leading to an ancient artifact. And as it turns out, it was buried just a few feet away on a hillside with a signpost saying "There are no ancient artifacts of boundless wealth here". The boy noticed the sign, and, not wanting to make the fish believe he was greedy, but still wanting to broach the topic, he mentioned it to the fish.

"Hey fish."

"What?"

"That's a pretty expositional sign over there"

"Ah, that it is"

"I think you are a sick bastard"

"ex'cuse me!? I've liv'd 100 of your measly lifetimes ya ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ meatsack ♥♥♥♥♥♥ ass ♥♥♥♥!"

"Oh, sorry, that's a tic i have"