Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

Happy birthday breh

After a good game of CSGO, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CSGO and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a arma lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was ♥♥♥. Don't trust this guy.

Why do cows have hooves and not feet?? Because they lactose! duh

Someone approached me today and said; "What ryhmes with orange". I replied saying "No it does'nt"

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