Recent reviews by mx9

CS2 banana toaster frame rate sideways helmet pinging through a window that was never there. Mouse clicks argue with the wall clock while the bomb plants itself emotionally in connector. Smoke turns into soup, soup becomes law, law is ignored by a jumping chicken with 300 DPI. Keyboard screams in lowercase.

Subtick whispers to the floorboards. Tick inside tick inside tick wearing a trench coat. Bullet leaves gun yesterday, arrives tomorrow, misses now. Enemy appears behind eyebrow. You were looking at shoe. Shoe was wrong.

AK sprays alphabetically. A B C miss miss hit maybe. Headshot but not head. Helmet evaporates into math. Numbers fall out of pocket. Economy cries in cents. Buy menu stares back like “are you sure?” No. Yes. Too late.

Mirage mid is a suggestion. Inferno burns your frames individually. Dust2 remembers you but pretends not to. Corner angle blinks first. Flashbang blinds the sound. Ears see white. Vision hears ringing.

Teammate speaks only vowels. Another teammate is typing Morse code with movement keys. Someone disconnects spiritually. “Lag” types itself into chat. Vote kick votes itself.

AWP scope zooms into regret. Shot fired, destiny declined. Deagle either god or paperweight depending on moon phase. Pistol round lasts seven centuries. Eco round wins accidentally. Full buy loses on principle.

Grenade bounces off reality. Smoke expands, contracts, reconsiders life choices. Molotov burns confidence not skin. HE grenade insults you personally.

Crosshair floats like a thought you almost had. Sensitivity too high, too low, too late. DPI multiplies. Mouse pad migrates south. Desk tilts emotionally.

Rank badge spins. Rank down after winning. Rank up after uninstalling. Elo leaks from ceiling fan. Leaderboard rearranges alphabetically by vibes.

Enemy peeks before you think about peeking. You hold angle forever until angle gets bored. Death screen arrives early to beat traffic. Respawn never comes.

Server tick coughs. Packet loss hides behind couch. Ping stretches like gum. Subtick eats the gum. Gum was important.

CT side feels like homework. T side feels like a dream you forgot. Bomb timer judges you silently. Defuse kit missing but you felt like you had it.

Smoke clears. Nothing makes sense. Match ends. You queue again immediately.