Sometimes when I'm bored I commit "ritual" sacrifice on an unsuspecting passerby. I lure them into my house via the promise of a Garfield Party game night and while they are enjoying their lasagna I give them napkins (Garfield themed) laced in chloroform. I then take their unconscious bodies into my basement (labelled "Evil Killing Room For Murdering Victims") and nail them to a comical spinning wheel while my mentally impaired (he was in a coma) slave (I kidnapped him (obviously)) helps me throw darts at them. When they come to, I tell them that this is all for a ritual that gives me everlasting life, blah blah blah, but I'm really just bored and feel a little bad knowingly letting them die with no purpose. Once they die (the darts are laced with antifreeze), I bury them in an unmarked lot located 22 yards (20.117 meters for non-American readers) behind 611 Shoshoni St, Thermopolis, WY 82443.

Though, that's really only some of the time. Usually I just spend my time going into public restrooms and flushing all the toilet paper down the toilets causing them to clog and overflow. It's also really fun to find toddlers and babies in public watching YouTube shorts on their mom's iPad and change what they are watching to Benny Johnson videos, permanently damaging any semblance of meaning they will ever derive for themselves. Don't get the wrong impression of me, though. In my busy hours I am a hardworking and honest member of the working class, getting paid just like everyone else to lobby for the big tax corporations and ensuring that filing your taxes continues to be a massive waste of time and energy.

Anyway, that's all the time I have for now. Hope you all have a wonderful day!