I saw precisely 1.097358 square inches of a girl's shoulder today... I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of a dopamine signaling my impending earth-shattering orgasm started to make a moan loud enough to deafening everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I have or will ever produce. It shot out 5% faster than the speed of light, vaporizing the girl as iy blasted through her, barely slowing, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. The school collapsed, and every female in the state of Illinois fell pregnant. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 543 injuries and 4 million pregnancies, As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my actions.

"hello i am a neet with no ambitions, my parents hate me, i dropped out of high school, and im a self proclaimed genius, but never show it. i have nine friends on steam and i link my equally as degenerate significant other on my profile. my significant other is monotone, yet girly sounding, anorexic, shy. we sleep skype together and go on e-dates, i love them so much"
Many of us have been in online relationships, with promises of hopes and dreams. You imagine yourselves together and moving between state (or country LOL). You think to yourself "This person is the one i'm going to spend the rest of my life with"
Are you both socially/economically well off?
Do you both hold careers or have skills that you can make an affordable wage?
Do you both really trust each other enough to not think they're cheating every 5 minutes?
Are you willing to make sacrifices to your free time to work extra or finish school?
Just know that it's most likely not going to work.
But masturbation is always free.

yo, don't ♥♥♥♥ing trust this guy actually
this dude slides over to our table at uni and asks us if it's cool to sit with us,
and honestly? bold move, but ♥♥♥♥ it. go for it my guy.
he then proceeds to start shoveling food into his mouth, with no, not a spoon
or a normal ♥♥♥♥ing eating utensil, might I add, but his ♥♥♥♥ing "3 long thumb nail.
who the ♥♥♥♥ let the missing link walk into an educational establishment, I'll never know.
so, while were sitting here watching dudeman shoves frozen peas into his gullet like a skid row crackhead, he proceeds to sneeze so ♥♥♥♥ing utterly loud and violent I thought he'd black out.
homeboy shoots a 20 foot arc of spit and snot all over his ♥♥♥♥ing food.
And, yes.
Yes, he certainly did keep ♥♥♥♥ing eating it.
He also wears those all white new balances from 2009 like a 54 year old middle american father of 4.
this guys bad new bears,
someone come get your mans

WTF

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