Recent reviews by Poo Pusher

GAME DOESN'T EVEN LAUNCH. NO IDEA WHAT IT PLAYS LIKE, AS I CAN'T PLAY A SPLASH SCREEN. AVOID. FRESH INSTALL ON WINDOWS 10 = GAME IS BROKEN.

POPULOUS IS AND WAS FANTASTIC. THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY OFF TARGET MISFIRE. IF YOU WANT TO PLAY A MODERN GAME THAT PUTS A MODERN RUB ON POPULOUS, TRY "REPRISAL UNIVERSE". IT'S FINISHED AND GREAT, ALTHOUGH IT'S WAY LESS "PEACEFUL" THAN THE ORIGINAL GAME, OR GODUS, SADLY.

ANYWAY.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW GODUS WENT SO WRONG BUT, WELL, IT'S MOLYNEUX, ISN'T IT? SO, YEAH...

BIT OF A TRACK RECORD THESE DAYS, THAT LAD.

SHAME, AS HE AND THE FOLKS AT BULLFROG REALLY DID SOME SPECIAL GAMES BACK IN THE PAST. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THEM TO KICKSTART A REMAKE OF FLOOD OR MAGIC CARPET, THEN THEY CAN MESS ONE (OR BOTH) OF THEM UP, TOO, AND TURN THEM INTO SOME FREE TO PLAY MOBILE PHONE "WASTE TIME ON THE TOILET" APP.

THIS IS A MASTERFUL EXAMPLE OF HOW TO COMPLETELY STRIP PLAYABILITY AND FUN FROM AN INHERENTLY INTERESTING FOUNDATION. THERE'S REALLY NOTHING GOOD ABOUT THIS.

AT THIS STAGE, THEY SHOULD TAKE IT OUT OF EARLY ACCESS AND/OR CANCEL IT, FINALLY. IT'S A JOKE THAT IT'S STILL AVAILABLE ON SALE HERE. SAME WITH GODUS WARS.

THE MOST PREPOSTEROUS THING ABOUT ALL OF THIS IS THAT THE SYSTEMS IN THE GAME ARE BASICALLY THERE TO MAKE A GREAT POPULOUS CLONE. THEY COULD PROBABLY JUST SHAPE IT INTO THAT VERY EASILY BUT, NO, THAT'LL SURELY NOT HAPPEN AS THEY NEED TO WASTE THE TIME OF MOBILE USERS AND COULDN'T POSSIBLY CUT OFF THAT POTENTIAL CROSS PLATFORM REVENUE. IT'S STUPID, SHORT SIGHTED AND ULTIMATELY EXTREMELY DISRESPECTFUL OF THOSE WHO FUNDED THE GAME FROM THE OFF (WHICH I DIDN'T, BECAUSE MOLYNEUX)

First up, I would say to ignore the "Negative" reviews on this title. For the reason why, simply read on. This game isn't going to appeal to everyone. It has a pretty narrow target audience, imo, and harkens back to the times when players didn't have their hands held throughout experiences.

The whole point of this game is to grow and build your agents, not to have unstoppable killing machines from the off. I've seen a lot of people complaining online about this game being "too tough" or "too confusing" recently, presumably folks who bought it in the sales (and perhaps young gamers, as they basically whine about everything. They don't play games, they are crap at them, so they just moan about them instead).

I have to say that it's neither. Yes, some gameplay mechanics (mission tree) could be a bit more streamlined but in terms of being difficult, I found the game to be not difficult at all. It's simply a matter of picking the right agent/s for the job and scoping things out beforehand. Pretty much no missions require "all guns blazing" and you're, in many ways, actively punished for doing this. However, firefights are far from "boring" as one reviewer has said. I'm presuming they hadn't unlocked grenades or rocket launchers at that point.

I've played through this game fully and had a great time. I'd also completely recommend it for online play, as I mostly played with 2-3 friends and had a great time. The reviewer who says "4 agents is dumb" is, well, not thinking properly. Yes, you can complete many of the missions to begin with using 1 agent but, again, it's obvious they didn't get very far into the game before reviewing it as this simply isn't possible after a point. We found that everyone had a useful job when playing with multiple players, from hacking, bypassing, drawing fire, setting off bombs, creating diversions etc etc.

Pretty much nothing in this game is "laid on" for the player and you'll not be told how to do missions, you're just simply given a waypoint and an extraction/infiltration order, usually. How you perform the task is up to you and I feel that this is what most people have a problem with. Personally, I think it's very much to the games credit. I'd been waiting for something similar to syndicate for YEARS and when this came out AND with multiplayer, lol, must buy! I enjoyed every moment of it, more or less.

It's great that the world is one open space, too, that you can move through seamlessly and without loading etc. Every mission takes place in the same overall world, with hi-tech and hi-security areas needing infiltrated etc. Go through the front door, blow it off it's hinges, sneak in through vents, zipline in from above etc etc. Every area has multiple entry points and, thus, multiple strategies to accomplish the same goal. This is a real benefit. Also, the original syndicate felt very "self contained" in each mission. It's nice to be able to stay always in the same world and have your items etc evolve as you do so (yes, "research" is here, too, just like in Syndicate)

Another aspect I found interesting is that the weapon pickups/awards are RANDOM. This may seem a small point but in reality it changes the dynamic of the game a lot from one playthrough to the next and encourages you to try everything out to see if it'll help you in your tasks. If you don't have a certain piece of equipment that's going to make something easier, you'll have to improvise with something else. Again, this is a small thing but it is an interesting (and functional) design choice.

Finally, I didn't have any problems running the game on my system and, while not super smooth (no 120fps lol), it ran perfectly well. I didn't have any problems. I'm running on a 1080 and an old i7. It's written in Unity which, if you know the system you'll know, doesn't really enjoy handling "open world" stuff too well. Was fine for me.

Also, yes, the last mission IS stupid BUT it can also be done very quickly. Again, thought is required. Plus, anyone who played through any bullfrog games back in the old days will remember that their games were fairly easy up until, always, the final level, which would basically brickwall the difficulty and be "insane" :p

I got this game from a bundle but I can totally recommend it at full price IF you are a fan of the original or like the idea of a challenging, open cyberpunk style RTS with a fair amount of longevity.

If they sequel this I'll be straight onto that!

Ignore anyone saying this is not a good game, For they are ♥♥♥♥♥♥5.

Great little platformer harkening back to the days of commander keen, cave story and other similar otherwordly 2d jump and fight festivals.

Really nice mechanics, smooth and fair gameplay and some puzzles that (while not being particularly challenging) are interesting and fun enough to keep you interested until the end. It is NOT a long game but I think this almost works in its favour. I think something like this would get irksome/annoying if they focused much more on timed jumping and awkward, multi-stage puzzles which I suppose they'd have to do to ramp up the difficulty any further.

As it is the challenge is pleasant, it's fun to look for the extra secrets and (I thought) the game had a nice atmosphere. Perhaps it's not everyones cup of tea and if you're a resolutely modern (F4G1T) gamer then this might not please you but if you like to do more with your gaming time than endless games of CS:GO whilst pulling at your pants and screaming obscenities down the mic then this might well be something you'll enjoy.

I was gifted the game but I believe it was really cheap lately and would definitely have been worth that price but I'd say, also, that at full price it's still a worthwhile investment. There's a fair chunk of replayability and I think it's sensible to support people making games like this as it's the textbook definition (to me) of "A fun game". There are just under 1000 games in my steam library, 90% of which I have NEVER played. I played this solidly until completion.

Then I completed it again.

10/10 kept my mind busy and gave me no desire to pull at my pants or scream down a microphone. It doesn't even HAVE mic support.

Hated GTA IV with a passion. Genuinely hated it. It was Palestine and I was Netanyahu. It was a newly born baby and I was Herod. It was Moby D1ck (not the musician) and I was Captain Ahab. It was the police and I was any reasonably minded human being just going about their business. It was a cat and I was a dog. Don't say the last analogy doesn't work because if you have a dog that likes cats then it is F.G.T and therefore inadmissable as evidence. You are probably F.G.T, too.

This game is amazing. It's a banquet and I'm a starving pauper. It's a bared posterior and I am a belt. It's someone who needs strangled and I have very big hands ETC ETC ETC

Buy it. Don't be a twit. BUY IT. Should run fine on any medium/high-end gfx cards. I run it at 720p (FOR SHAME) on my GTX970 and I get a steady 60fps with everything up on Ultra/very high (where ultra is not available).

Probably going to go and kill myself now, tbh (ingame)

10/10 would review again

I was very "on the fence" about this game when I first heard about the, supposedly, numerous problems that plague this "terrible" pc port. I'd pretty much decided to give it a swerve instead of effectively "doubling down" on it (I also have DOA 5 on xbox) but when I actually played it I changed my mind. I also changed my mind for a couple of other reasons that I shall detail below.

First out I think it's important to address the "soft engine" debacle. This is basically an option for tv tanned virgins to enable which, apparently, makes the "boobies" (as they're childishly being referred to online in the myriad of "DOA5LR Y U ASSHURT ME?" videos on youtube) look more "real". Seriously ? Go outside. Failing that, maybe consider ending your own existence ?

For people to whine about the fact that the most miniscule, unimportant facet of the game isn't identical to the next gen console versions (soft engine isn't on the xbox 360/ps3 versions, either) is just laughable. Grow up, maybe ?

It does seem somewhat pathetic that team ninja even include this as a "bonus" (along with the "OMG" 'boobie' physics model that is unlockable) but, then, considering the extra curricular activities of the head of team ninja it is, perhaps, hardly surprising (master sex criminal/sexual supervillain). However, to rally against the community and threaten to make no more pc conversions if the mod scene produce nude patches for the characters (which they already have. Sigh....) is a little "rich" in my book. You can't have your sex offending cake AND eat it.

Anyway, 'boobies' and 'nekkid' stuff aside, once I actually played this game I was more than happy to fork out the money for it for a fair few reasons. Here are some bullet points....

- Anti Aliasing: The game looks amazing with this. Way sweeter than even the next gen versions, imo (which don't have it). Everything goes from jaggy looking, last gen style to smooth, silky, modern and cool. The AA is applied to everything, not just the characters, so the (somewhat jaded) backdrops also look much better with this applied

- 4K !!! PS4 and XBOX ONE games actually run this in 1080p, which is a big change for these systems as usually everything is run in a resolution below this. Presumably they can cope as there's "not much going on". Anyway, PC can run it at 4K and it looks genuinely awesome. It also runs very well on this resolution, compared to a lot of other current games which seem to require titans/dual 980's to do so. Also, at 4K you don't need anti-aliasing as everything is so, so fine without it.

- Sweet FX. Okay, this is an external modification BUT it makes the game look even more awesome. I've had a problem with team ninjas choice of colour for a long time and this basically gives you the chance to fix it. The main problem I have with their colourschemes is their apparent lack of ability to use BLACK. They just use charcoal/washed out dark grey and it always looks crappy. Ninja Gaiden could have looked so much sweeter if they'd blasted the contrast and upped the black significantly. He's meant to be a ninja, I believe they semi rely on the dark, no ? The same is true of DOA5LR, everything has a slightly "washed out" look to it. I'm really not sure why, aside from making the deduction that they like things like this. Perhaps their penchant for "the grey area" is a throwback to their boss citing it as his defence in his multiple and frequent deflections of the sexual harrassment suits that are levelled against him ? Who knows. Anyway, installing Sweet FX (a tiny and simple program) gives the game a look that really "pops" (there are multiple colourschemes/filters so you don't have to 'go radioactive' straight away, just find one you like)

- FAST !! The game loads REALLY fast, even on a standard HD, though I have now moved it over to my SSD where it, pretty much, does everything instantly. Really good. I played DOA a lot in its various incarnations on the console and it's never been as rapid as this. #PCMASTERRACE

- Mod scene. Aside from the obligatory "I'm a virgin/I am so dumb that I can't find pron on the internet" naked patches I forsee a great future for this game in terms of things being patched in by the modding community. There's already numerous Sweet FX presets to make the game look substantially better and it's been out less than a week. It seems that it is indeed, as far as the community suggest, fully mod-able so I look forward to seeing what people come up with in future. I hope it's not too much to expect perhaps some older stages decompiled from console versions and patched in.

That's pretty much the "pros" for now, so here are a few "cons" just to balance things out

- Front end is a little ugly. Doesn't really matter, tbh, the game looks great but still, it looks very played out/last gen and could have looked a lot nicer.

- No online (so far). I don't really care about this as I find fighters are usually pretty crappy online what with having to learn lag breaks and all that (there's even an option to simulate online lag in offline play included, though, lol, so you can get used to this "wonderful phenomenon"). However, I'm sure the lack of opportunity for getting absolutely hammered by Japanese players with the gaming equivalent of severe autism will upset some players. Cry me a river and drown yourselves. Just WAIT - it's apparently coming in 3 months or less. Maybe.

- No keyboard control rebinding. Let's be honest, though, what kind of cretin wants to play a fighting game on a keyboard. Get a controller or an arcade stick. Failling that, tie yourself to the front of a large vehicle and have a friend drive it into a wall. Repeatedly.

- DLC. I thought I was dreaming when I saw the price of it. WTF ? Seriously, folks ? the price is absolutely ridiculous for what amounts to, basically, aesthetic changes and nothing more. Still, if LOL and DOTA can get away with it..... I hope they bring some stage DLC and don't charge a ridiculous amount for it. That would be much more welcome than this soft-porn masturbatory material which is clearly pumped out (pun not intended) for those driven myopic by acts of furious DOA based onanism...

- Streaming. So far I've been unable to get the game to stream onto my other computer, which is odd as the "less legit" version I tested before buying the steam version streamed fine from steam as a non-steam game added to my list. This is nonsense and there seems to be no reason for this to happen. It also locks up/freezes my host computer so I need to shut down and restart steam each time to play it again otherwise it doesn't accept inputs. A small issue to some but I do like to stream to my laptop so this is bugging for me.

Right, so, in conclusion, there is nothing much against recommending this game as far as I can say, the only major gripe I have is with the streaming as mentioned above. Ignore the haters and complainers online and enjoy what is, in my opinion, the finest fighting game ever made (which has the potential to get soooo much better thanks to community interaction)

I presume any problems WILL get ironed out by patches and will update this review if they are/are not in a month or so. One would hope all the problems people are currently facing will be ironed out soon but I don't seem to be encountering them... Also, this is available for around 1/3 of the price steam are charging on numerous steam key sites just google doa5 pc steam key.... buy from there and save yourself some money !

I was reasonably interested to hear that a new Gauntlet game was in the pipeline BUT at that stage I didn't know which pipeline it was in. I hoped it wouldn't be coming from the same one which has blurted forth the gaming equivalent of hot, liquid turds in the name of Gauntlet since the 1980's.

It seems that instead of serving us up complete effluent they have instead managed some kind of plumbing tomfoolery which has resulted in the effluent being mixed with cool, pure water. The resulting fluid can fill a glass but it is possibly not a glass one would choose to drink from.

Some of the benefits of the game...

1) Graphics are nice and (vaguely) evocative of the original game. Nothing looks bad and the game runs well. Everything looks reasonable for an arpg, tbh. Fairly stereotypical but then Gauntlet was pretty much first on the block for this kind of thing. However, there is little to no variation within a dungeon "set", which isn't in line with the original, there are just themed "worlds" which are not unlike the crap we had to munch through with "Gauntlet: Dark Legacy"

2) Multiplayer works well, netcode seems tight. Now that the "cannot connect to Gauntlet online" random messages have ceased thanks to a post release patch, the netcode works well. Compared to something like Magicka which is still, imo, in a broken "online" state, Gauntlet runs perfectly. No real problems to report, no lag issues as such.

3) It's a good game for a little while, especially for fans of the original BUT this only lasts a short time. One of the key factors of the original was that there were a lot of different dungeons pooled randomly from a larger set, many of which could be flipped and changed in ways by the game before they were presented to the player. No two playthroughs would be quite the same. This is not the case in the new version, with only a few levels being occasionally "flipped" but they're very familiar whatever way round you do them after a very few playthroughs.

BAD POINTS

1) Skill trees have been added but instead of making the game something one would return to in order to "level up" items etc we are presented with something that's nothing more than a skin buying interface (buying skins with ingame money does nothing to your character and they are barely visible) and the option to buy "spells" (more on these on point 2). You can collect more than enough money very quickly to buy all of these things. Also, each upgrade is NOT character specific, with only 2 skills being particular to each character. This is nonsense. It just means, basically, that you're endlessly playing the game to unlock more of the same stuff (unlocks do not migrate across characters)

2) Spells are terrible. "Potions" in the original Gauntlet worked as "Smart bombs" which would destroy onscreen monsters, particularly "Death" (More on this explained in point 3) but instead of keeping them the same the developers saw fit to wangle them into some rubbish kind of "Special move" enabling fandango. Preposterous. So, basically, you have to have a potion in your possession to perform your Special move. This means players simply signpost points in levels, grind out enough potions then all just launch the same kind of devastating, battle winning special. This renders the game really boring and, as a direct result of how the game progresses coupled with this stupid idea, the "end of level" bosses actually get progressively easier as the players become more invincible (in chosen situations). It's a really stupid, crappy system. They should have based these Special abilities on kills or a rage meter or something like that and kept potions the same. In the original game, the wizard could clear a screen by firing off a potion, with the other characters doing progressively less damage with them (warrior being least proficient). Potions were more rare, usually, whereas I feel the new version gives too many, with everyone able to just blast out specials by the time you reach the end of a particular dungeon set.

3) Death is rubbish in this game. People who play/played Gauntlet will know what I mean but for the benefit of those not familiar, Death in Gauntlet is a physical character. In the original he would chase the players and steal health unless someone used a potion. Using a potion "killed" him, for the time being. There could be multiple "deaths" on one level, though. They were quite fun and an interesting alternative to ploughing through loads of "nasties". Anyway, "Death" is nothing like that in the new version. Instead of being in the main levels, he gets his own set of levels which really DO NOT WORK. They're not much fun and get old very quick. He appears, chases you for a bit, then disappears. This happens as you're pushed through a linear set of rooms and, yeah, gets old. Death is not remotely troublesome, either, and you can simply run round and round him. He even smashes crates/pots by passing over them so you can use him to collect money. He's basically rubbish in this version of the game, pushed into a sidequest of sorts (which is short and lame YET counts as a "main level")

4) GENERATORS. GENERATORS, FOR CHRISTS SAKES, NOT "SUMMONING STONES". JESUS ! WTF !? The summoning stones are a BAD idea. They even sound rubbish. "GENERATOR" sounds so much more malevolent and directionless. "Summoning stones" take the place of generators in this version of the game but they're a really lame replacement. In the original, Generators were in place in the level anyway. You could see them from far away. In this version you will usually walk into a room, the doors will shut, and a Summoning Stone will appear. From this, enemies will come and you smash them up then smash the stone. Doors open. Proceed. Pretty lame, tbh. There are no "levels" of summoning stone, either, whereas the original game had varying strengths of Generator that spewed various strengths of creature. Also, there were ghost generators in the original game. In this game, ghosts are confined to just appearing on the "death" mini-levels. They just appear in tiny groups, following him. Useless. Gone are the days of masses of monsters (including ghosts, see LEVEL ONE IN THE ORIGINAL GAME FFS) generating and pushing at the backs of doors, instead we get the occasional room that's been "set up" with standing monsters but nothing like the original dungeons, creaking with scum to be destroyed. It's like everything in this game is just waiting for you to turn up before it'll appear, which takes away from the "world of absolute violence" vibe that many so loved about the original. Then again, that might just have been me. I'm asian.

5) This is a SHORT game. It's not got anywhere near the replayability of the original and in a couple of playthroughs (or less) you'll most likely have enough gold to max everything on your (not very unique) character. It's really hurt by not having random levels of the kind offered by stuff like Full Mojo Rampage (and many other such games). With no real need (or, perhaps, desire ?) to replay for more xp and to enjoy some different levels, there's little to return to this game for and we, once again, encounter the same problem that has plagued all of the more modern Gauntlet updates. NOT ENOUGH GAME. Why, when the original paved the way for randomising such a large amount of gameplay elements do we have to put up with this NONSENSE ? We were even promised such things in this version of the game but there is no such thing (99% of the time) here.

6) Price. It's too expensive for what it is and the new character should have been free DLC. The base game doesn't contain a fair few things that were promised and just feels, well, way too short and shallow. It's good fun and the engine is sweet, the characters "play" well and all the new moves are fine but there need to be many more levels to make this worthwhile.

6/10.

I recommend Full Mojo Rampage instead.

If you didn't think there was enough "Gauntlet" in "Gauntlet", you should probably invest in this. I will mention Gauntlet rather a lot in this "review", btw.

The first point, and it's a reasonably large one, that this game scores over Gauntlet is that it has genuinely random (thus replayable ad inifinitum*) levels and a fairly expansive character customization section make this a far more worthwhile purchase. Gauntlet promised randomised, limitless levels and failed to deliver, preferring instead to rotate a level through 180degrees or make you do them "the opposite way round" (from start to finish in a 'death' level, for example). It's obvious, woeful and does nothing to hide the fact that you're always playing from a small group of levels that can easily be remembered, no matter what way round they are.

There are also more "world types" than in Gauntlet.

The player upgrade system is somewhat similar but, again, full mojo rampage has a better one. There's more to spend your ingame currency on and the prices of everything gets quite high so you need to take time to find cash. This isn't annoying, however. Also, found items can be sold in the shops ingame, which produces a lot of extra cash. Item drops are random and there are a LOT of different items that you can find. You can also mix together 2 items to get a single item with all the effects of the 2 individual ones. This is a fun way to make interesting "charms" to equip and also an interesting way to cause a sort of "inventory game" to arise, wherein the player must decide what stuff to keep/dump in favour of potentially more useful items. You can also expand your inventory, too, so it's possible to carry more. I liked this aspect of the game as, again, it adds another random dimension to things that makes each playthrough different.

I've put a fair amount of time into the game and I still find it fun to go back and play more. Also, I have yet to complete all of the levels on "hardcore" difficulty, which requires a more levelled up character. I think, beyond that, there's "nightmare" or "insane", something like that, so there's plenty of reason to return and play more*. I will be trying to finish all the levels at all skills and will probably wind up doing so at some point. I see this definitely as a game I can return to in future as I've enjoyed it and it does a lot of things that I, personally, like in games.

Some people have said this is tough but I think it's reasonably easy, it's far easier to solo than Gauntlet, for example, which is easy enough but you have to adhere to a plan/play style to get through. You have much more option to just "muck around" in full mojo rampage, as a result of the levels being more open and monsters spawning/wandering randomly instead of coming from "summoning stones" in closed rooms (another bad point about the new version of gauntlet).

Finally, it's not really a roguelike, tbh. There's a lot of games called Roguelikes these days but I would say this has much more in common with something like Gauntlet or Alien Syndrome. Neither of which are roguelikes. Unless you count Gauntlet 4. People seldom do, despite it being by far the best version (genesis cart, have a look if you like Gauntlet). HOWEVER, I did play one game where I was transported to a random dungeon that was made of ascii and I had to fight various "G" and "M" symbols. This was excellent and I would probably play the whole game in this manner if the option existed. There are some nice little diversions like this in the game. As I've mentioned, you're never quite sure what's going to pop up and, for this reason and the others above, I rate this as a really good and fun game.

The online works well, too.

*If you enjoy the premise and play style of the game, of course.

GREAT GAME IF YOU LIKE HAMMERING BANGERS WHILST PURSUING A RELAXED YET OPPRESSIVE CAMPAIGN OF BULLYING AGAINST THE AI ALONG WITH A COUPLE OF FRIENDS. IF YOU LIKE THE ORIGINAL IT'S SUPER FAITHFUL, TOO, FOR THE MOST PART. VERY WELL DONE. REGULARLY UPDATED.

Totally awesome. If you don't like this you're probably an arsehole.