'Cause my fifteen-year-old cousin has less acne
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983

But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you've got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby

But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?

'Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
'Cause no one likes you monkey boy