Скорошни рецензии на some lard with bad internet

The Wraithqueen has single-handedly made me into a xenophobe.

Sorry, had to expel that. Now then: my thoughts on the game in general.
(note: i have only played on rookie mode as of writing this review)

General: I get why people talked about the XCOM series being so cool now. I agree fully; this game is awesome! Bought the XCOM 2 Collection (i think) for 10 bucks after trying it out for free on the Epic Games Store, and I do not regret my purchase.
...the Wraithqueen is slowly making me turn insane, however.

The Combat: Oh, boy, another game whose combat is ruled by RNG!
Joking, of course, half-heartedly. Aside from the combat being pretty much ruled by chance, I quite enjoy havin my dudes shoot the bad guys! The explosions are awesome as well. I also get why people are horny for the Vipers. Anywho.

The Avenger (and the map): ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, this ship's layout reminds me of Fallout: Shelter.
I do not like Fallout: Shelter. I do like the Avenger, though! It's very detailed, and the specific rooms givin' me bonus stuff is nice. The map is also nice, good ol' Generic Future Map of the World, you know how it is. The constant interruptions of my scanning attempts are starting to get on my nerves, but... meh. War.

The ADVENT: Unique enemies. I cannot wait to have them all fall to the Resistance. I also can't wait to punch that propaganda guy in the face. ♥♥♥♥♥♥' hate him.

The Mod Support: GOOD LORD, THE MOD SUPPORT. SOLID 10/10.

...and i've ran out of things to talk about. oh actually one more thing

The Wraithqueen: I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate her. This one time, I was trying to keep my guys alive in an underground area while fending off 4 ADVENT MECs, right? They were trying to destroy an important computer relay thing. This ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ popped up out of the blue, ran in, swiped at one of my guys, ran out. Absolutely pansy-ass behaviour. I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate her. So ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ much. I can't wait to tear her apart.

The other 2 Chosen: I feel like I'm going to feel QUITE the same way with them as I do the Wraithqueen.

Overall: 9.9/10. Deducting a tenth of a point because I'm bad at the game.

quite the delightful experience. thank you for making such intriguing semi-games. :)

local florida robot walks into hell and kills every ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ thing

THE game for building your dream monstrosities.

No cap, fr, whatever the most recent generation says. I like boat game. Is all you need to know.

Haydee is hot. If you like puzzle shooters, play Haydee. If you like big titty cyborgs, play Haydee.

The mods make it even better. :)

Christoff and Hoffnar are gay and I'm here for it.

I imagined the little sumo guys being mercs from TF2. Best impulse I've ever purchased. ♥♥♥♥♥♥' A.

In just 13 hours, I was able to witness the true Shadow of War experience.

To start off with, I walked my happy little sword-wieldin' self into Nurn for the first time, getting myself familiar with the area, killin' Captains, the usual. Eventually, I stumbled upon one Ukbuk the Merciless, a LEGENDARY Terror Tank (God, you shoulda seen his helmet. SO cool!). I had a couple of scuffles with him, but this first one came when I was fresh off of my first Online Vendetta. Pretty neat, that.

Anyways, Ukbuk lived up to his title. He was pretty merciless with me, until I got him down on one knee and scarred his face with every print on my hand. He ran off, embracing the Shameprint with honor and pride, ripping off any armors he had and covering himself with other handprints. Neat what a low level Shaming can do to an Uruk.

One "Remember me? You tried to humiliate me." and a surprise from Norsko Drooler later, I unleashed my then-bestie Ar-Hissu Pain Seeker and Norsko upon Ukbuk, managing to break his will and get him down on his knee yet again. This time, I wanted to see what he could do. So: I recruited him. Lovely guy.

Ukbuk the Unashamed as he came to be known was HORRIFIC, in a positive sense. He unleashed his before-titled mercilessness upon at least 3 captains inbetween my 16th and 20th levels. Ukbuk... oh you should've seen the executions I've seen him do. This guy was fierce. Never in my life have I seen a man NOT lose health in the middle of a big group. So cool. I loved him and his dual axes to death so much that I thought of topping him upon my first Fortress.

...unfortunately for me and Talion, he had different plans. As I was busy poisoning Grog in the Sharkhburz Fortress, I heard a "Manswine!" from behind me, and there stood Ukbuk. Ukbuk communicated to me that he'd decided to part ways with me, stating that "I've learned all there is to learn from you. Now you're only holding me back. It's time I cut you off."

I didn't want to.

I couldn't do that to him so mercilessly, as he did to our enemies before.

Ukbuk forced my hand with his Iron Will. "You won't beat me." I didn't want to. I wanted to put you onto Sharkhburz for all to see, Ukbuk, and you forced my hand. You and your awesome twin axes made of bones and forged from Death herself. I didn't want to cleave you in half, Ukbuk. My friend. My ally, even.

You left me no choice.

...and so with no other worthy (in my eyes) candidates for Sharkhburz, I topped it with Ar-Hissu Pain Seeker instead. He deserves to see all of Nurn for what it is. He was one of my best, and he stands in what could've been Ukbuk's place. May he rest in peace forever and always, slaughtering Uruk captains in the afterlife.

Er, where was I? Oh yeah!
TL;DR: 10/10 game. Makes me feel feelings and I love it. Buy it when you can. It's worth every cent, from 8 CAD to 59.

gun :)

♥♥♥♥ this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game