Recent reviews by i brake 4 latinaz

this is the borderlands 3 of zombie games: took ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ forever to come out and didnt live up to the hype, filled with ♥♥♥♥♥♥ cringe writing, and it ♥♥♥♥♥ all over its recurring legacy characters. the only thing its missing is borderlands 3's fun gameplay. also the ending is so unsatisfying, zombie respawns are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ridiculous, and the story they try to tell here is so convoluted and dumb and goes against everything set in place in the first two games. i played this all the way thru with my boyfriend and we're both just ready to get finished with the dlcs so we can play something else lmao

edit: we tried playing the new horde mode together and its so repetitive and unfun and so ungodly glitchy. thanks a lot

Just finished playing my first session of Overwatch in 3 years and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ it's so much worse than I remember.

I used to play OW1 with the friends I had in highschool that I couldn't convince to play TF2 instead. I can't remember how many hours/how much money I wasted on it in total. Back in it's earlier days(I started playing around 2017-2018), I remember it being pretty fun. I mainly played tanks before my faves were nerfed to the point where they became next to useless. Then, they kept adding in new heroes that were so OP or broken that they ruined the entire ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game. The seasonal PvE events became boring fast. Overwatch's story was basically nonexistent and characters were being ignored. I started breaking free from my debilitating addiction around 2019-ish and finally uninstalled around early to mid 2020, but I kept an eye on the upcoming ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ from afar. Now, this supposed titan of a class-based shooter game that everyone said would kill TF2 has joined Steam in a shameless attempt to save itself from dying a second time as the previously-mentioned 17 year old hat wearing simulator is reaching record highs in player count(though the bot issue isn't totally fixed lol valve u gotta get on that ♥♥♥♥ pronto. since this game's dying again these devs r gonna need jobs so how ab u hit em up)

Everything I hated about OW1 is back but amplified. First off, the gameplay. I remember it being decently fun back when the game had half as many heroes with the quality steadily decreasing as time passed. Now? It's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ miserable. There's no skill involved, only pain. You're constantly getting stunned, frozen, thrown around, slept, etc until someone on the enemy team who's been playing for a total of 10 minutes accidentally hits Q and instakills you. It also doesn't help that, with there being so many playable heroes that have the same skinny Caucasian frame, you can't tell who's who in the heat of battle until it's too late. It's just mindless. I don't care who wins or loses, just save me from this hellhole. I didn't even bother looking into their PvE ♥♥♥♥. It looks just as boring as it was before, and I'm not spending actual money to find out if that's the case in this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ economy.

The worst part is definitely the microtransactions and other paid DLC content. For some reason, Blizzard thought that lootboxes were appropriate for a game that costs $60 but not for a game that's free to play. You used to be able to get legendary skins through free lootbox drops just by leveling up. Now you're expected to pay anywhere between $15-$30 to purchase a single ugly, over-designed skin. You can also purchase items with coins, but they give you so few each week that they're practically useless. This is only covering cosmetics. In-game content, the stupid ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ battle pass, and even playable heroes are also locked behind steep paywalls, and none of it is worth it. Meanwhile, I can hop in Steam's own community market and purchase multiple whole outfits for all 9 TF2 mercs for a total of $5 or trade my abundance of scrap metal for cosmetic case keys. Team Fortress 2's cosmetics also allow for better customization while staying true to the game's art style(with a few exceptions). Blizzard shares no such care for its game or the people who play it, only wishing to milk as much cold hard cash from its playerbase as possible before their servers empty.

I wanted to give OW2 a genuine chance. I used to love this game, and I wanted to see actual good things done with it. I didn't wanna log back on after 3 years and see that everything was the same but far worse, but it is. There's nothing here, just the dried out husk of a game that once was. I'm convinced that everyone still stuck playing this game at this point is suffering from Stockholm syndrome, because there's no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ way you people actually like playing this ♥♥♥♥. There's no soul, just a pathetic cash grab from a pathetic company. Blizzard is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ out unneeded heroes that are locked behind paywalls when the free heroes fulfill their main purpose without the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ gimmicks. They hype up the game's story when there's none to be had. They suck themselves off when it comes to diversity and acceptance, yet 1) make sure none of the characters have a personality aside from being annoying and make most of the POC characters evil, 2) sameface all of the female characters/copy and paste the same body types, 3) add racist skins that offend the groups they claim to care about and refuse to remove them from the store, 4) censor any mentions of characters being LGBT from foreign releases, and 5) punish players for speaking out against injustice and mistreat their own employees.

Not to bring TF2 into this review section for the millionth time, but there really isn't a reason to play Overwatch when it exists. Instead of clogging up the game with ♥♥♥♥♥♥ characters that do the same ♥♥♥♥, TF2 features 9 extremely charismatic, lovable, fun to play mercenaries with their own far unique abilities. Each individual class can be customized with different weapons that are useful in different gameplay situations, giving players multiple creative ways to play a single character. Each class is fun to play in its own way and actually feels useful, not to mention playing TF2 actually takes skill(lol). It's had an incredibly fun and replayable PvE mode since 2012 that's FREE TO PLAY(unless you do tours in which case u can purchase or trade for tickets but that's optional), on top of other really fun gamemodes with the most recent being Versus Saxton Hale being officially added. The holiday updates are also wayyyyy better(if you try and tell me that any of overwatch's seasonal events come close to topping scream fortress you're a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ liar). Team Fortress 2 has a complex story that's explored through comics and animated shorts and, despite taking itself less seriously, has more heart and emotion than the majority of Overwatch's side media. Even TF2's porn is better. Does Overwatch have community game modes where you can play as the heroes with their ♥♥♥♥♥ and balls out? Or art of Roadhog ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ into Junkrat's open mouth? I didn't think so.

Honestly, TF2's community itself puts it so far ahead of OW. I meet so many nice, accepting people in matches, and I have more fun playing it than any other multiplayer experience. Blizzard doesn't even care about you guys enough to release a good game with all of its promised features, yet Valve lets fans add their own custom TF2 content in the form of cosmetics, weapon skins, gamemodes, weapons, taunts, comics, events, and even animated shorts. SFM/GMOD animations, fanart, memes, etc are still being made featuring the TF2 mercs even after all of this time. Overwatch will continue to fail until it's but a distant, bitter memory, and people will only come back to jerk off to Widowmaker getting railed by a Fortnite character.

This went from being a review to me trying to convince you ding dongs to move on to a superior gaming experience lol. Even in it's current crusty, neglected, bot-filled state, Team Fortress 2 a far better experience than anything Overwatch Poo has to offer, and I highly recommend it, especially since it's currently experiencing a resurgence after 7 years. Anyways, drop this turd and come play a game that'll give you a thick bush. Feel free to add me, I'm looking for ppl to play Mvm and comp with lol and if you're coming from Overweight I'll show you the ropes. :-)

I've put in 200+ hrs into Stardew Valley at this point, and me getting back into it recently made me wanna find more games like it. I saw this during the winter sale and decided to trey it, and I'm glad I did because now I'm completely addicted. It's completely taken Stardew Valley's place for the time being lmao

Aside from the several shading glitches I've seen, the graphics are so pretty and detailed(I especially like how the water looks). The NPCs are also pretty fun and expressive in their animations. While most of the characters don't have much to do with the main story, the ones you do interact with can be charming and entertaining. I enjoy the dark humor a lot, and the music is nice and catchy. I like being able to stay awake a full 24 hrs instead of being forced to sleep at a certain time like other farming sim games. Tasks also don't have time limits, so it allows you to go more at your own pace. The voice acting is also really cute. I love this game a lot and will probably put in close to the same amount of time I put into SV lol

One thing that's kind of annoying, though, is that this game is really hard because it gives you almost no information on what to do, but I kinda like it that way because stumbling onto certain things can be fun. Plus this game has a pretty extensive Wiki to help you through. I also experience a lot of visual glitches as well as twitching and lag, especially around my farm and workyard. I also find the whole time and quest systems kind of annoying because the whole game is basically this huge fetch quest where you have to get an item from someone and bring it to someone else over and over again, but you can only see a lot of these people on specific days of the week. So, in cases where you 1. just miss someone right as they're leaving their spot or 2. get an item from someone who wants you to give it to the person you just saw the day before, you'll be waiting a full ingame week to finish a task. Skipping through the week doesn't take too long, though, and there's plenty of other stuff to do, but it's still really ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ annoying lol and it makes grinding for cash even harder. Another really annoying thing about this game is that you can't stack some items while crafting for some reason. Like why can't I queue several of the same items for the hand mixer? Why are you making me grind up one flower at a time? And why does blood/fat/bones stack but each of my hearts/intestines/brains take up individual slots and take up space? It's so stupid. Also the fishing minigame ♥♥♥♥♥♥ sucks ngl and the English/grammar is god awful half the time.

The main reason why I decided to leave a review, however, is this ♥♥♥♥ that happened to me today. I was playing GK with about 55 hrs clocked in when my PC completely froze after locking up for a second. I reset it and get back into the game when I notice that my save data is completely wiped. I was eventually able to get it back after I was done ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ myself, but that was after looking through several forums and trying different methods. Even the developer advise didn't work. All the top results I found left out a crucial step in my case(I had to delete and replace the INFO file in my GK folder with one you have to download from the dev's site). During my research, I noticed that this has been an issue since the game's been out. I saw a person complaining about this ♥♥♥♥ happening to them 4 days ago. I've never had this happen to me in a game before, and it's insane that it's still an issue here. Can this not be patched out or something?

I know most of this has been mostly pretty negative, but this game's really fun and addicting. This is just me warning you of some of the downsides of playing this game. These shortcomings are wayyyyy overshadowed by all the good things, though. It can be rough in the beginning when you're still figuring out all the complex stuff, but once you have it figured out you'll feel like a master. I recommend it to anyone who enjoys Stardew Valley/Harvest Moon type games. It's well worth the money as you'll definitely get several hours' worth from the gameplay. I'll definitely be picking up the DLCs at some point. :)

my first exposure to sam & max BTS mcdonalds meal was the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wii port i got at gamestop for a dollar when i was 13 and now i get to play it with all these pretty graphics and great new features they added which makes the minigames sooooo much easier lmao pls buy this and tell your friends to buy it and then buy it again and send it to the pope

The fact that this game has mostly positive reception is one of the greatest unsolved mysteries of our species. Ever since The Wardrobe has entered my long list of Steam purchases, my life has not known peace. I lie awake every night trembling at the thought that this monster was unleashed upon innocent adventure game fans and has yet to be vanquished from this plane. I consider myself to be someone who's pretty easily pleased, yet this is a game where I have next to nothing positive to say about it. If you're like me, you probably saw this charming looking point-n-click game starring a cartoony skeleton and thought to yourself, "Boy oh boy, this game looks like a treat!" Let my experience with this smegma-filled cyst deter anyone with a similar mindset from repeating my mistake.


This is apparently an unpopular opinion, but this game is ugly as hell. I hate saying this because certain shots look nice, but the majority of the art is sloppy and inconsistent. The character design ranges from being cartoony to semi-realistic. Some scenes are well-animated while others look like ass. The backgrounds are the worst of all. The artists were more concerned with shoving as many references as they could into a single shot than they were with making a good looking video game. It's especially annoying when the clutter littering each location makes finding items near impossible. There are several items you need to get in order to progress through the game that are incredibly small and hard to point out in the sea of ♥♥♥♥ you have to wade through in each area. Yeah, you can press the space bar and highlight interactable items, but that doesn't make the design any less terrible.


There's nothing inherently wrong with the gameplay itself; it's a point-n-click game, so it's pretty standard in how you interact with the world. The problem lies with its puzzles: they're ass. This game is pretty much impossible without a guide because the solutions to these puzzles don't make any sense. The game doesn't bother to clue you in on what you need to do. In the few times i was able to figure out a puzzle I thought was pretty straightforward, it turned out I had to do some extra unnecessary ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in order to progress. There are even puzzles that depend on you having outside knowledge of outside media in order for you to solve them. By the time I got to the junkyard, I was at a point where I stopped caring and stopped trying to solve puzzles on my own because it was wasting time and I just wanted to finish the game as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, beating the game ended up being a lot harder than I anticipated even with the guide. There were times where the game would crash, causing me to redo all of my progress because I hadn't saved (Not entirely the game's fault since I should've saved, but it's kinda ridiculous that it doesn't have an autosave feature when point-n-click games from a decade prior were able to implement it). The biggest issue I had with beating this game was the MULTIPLE puzzles that have the ability to softlock you. I only encountered one(letting the mummy couple into the room before the couple waiting on the porch), but I've seen people complain about not being able to talk to Grandma's ghost due to leaving her dentures at the house and not being able to backtrack. This just goes to show how poorly designed this game is.


It sucks.


This is the most painful part of the game bar none. The story is god awful and has very little presence in the game due to its poorly-realized and uninteresting state. The relationship between Ronald and Skinny is weak and makes the attempt at emotion in the ending pathetic. I can only think of maybe two jokes in total that made me genuinely smile while every other attempt at humor fell flat on its face. The "non-politically correct" jokes the description boasts about are too outdated, obvious, and unfunny to ever be considered offensive by the minority groups they target(Haha, a pedophilic, overtly-feminine gay guy obsessed with hygiene and a joke about black people tanning at night, you sure got me). There isn't a single interesting or likeable character in this whole game. The worldbuilding is nonexistent. Overall, the game is just bland and gives you no reason to care about anyone or anything.

That's not even the worst of it. So far, I've mentioned how the game likes to shove a bajillion references to other media in backgrounds, as well as creating puzzles around other media you'd have to be familiar with in order to progress. This game loves jerking itself off over the fact that it has references to movies, comics, TV shows, books, and other video games. It's so proud of this fact that it tries to SELL you a PDF file documenting each and every reference in the game. If this wasn't enough, the geniuses at CINIC Games thought it was a good idea to make 99% of the dialogue based around references and old ass Internet phrases that were outdated long before this game's release(get ready to hear "epic fail" and "right in the feels" about eighty ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ times). References can be cute when they're funny and aren't as common, but the dev team's mindset is apparently the exact opposite. It's like they used all these painfully-obvious references to try and distract people from how unfunny their game really was. Here's a tip: putting a giant plaque of Aku Aku onto someone's wall for no reason and then having your main character say, "Can Naughty Dog hurry up and make a new Crash Bandicoot already?!" isn't as clever or funny as you think it is. Halo, Portal, Ratchet & Clank, TMNT, Super Mario, IT, Futurama, Night at the Museum, Minecraft, Monkey Island, Marvel, Legend of Zelda, Grim Fandango, Nyan Cat, Ed Edd n Eddy, Sam & Max. I don't think there's a single property that doesn't have a half-assed cameo in this game. Even Slenderman, a character who stopped being cool nearly a decade ago, appears in this game several times and, for some reason, stars in the ending cutscene(His appearance/actions in the scene have no impact on the story BTW he's just...there). By the time the game ♥♥♥♥ out it's inevitable Half Life 3 joke, I wished I had a physical copy so I could rip it out of my PC and defecate on it in a comedic fashion.


This game isn't even close to being worth $15. It only takes an hour or two to beat and not a minute of that playtime is enjoyable. I got this game on sale for $4, and I mourn its loss every waking moment of my life. The only fun I had with this game was streaming my gameplay and having a cringefest with my ugly Discord friends. Save yourself and your money from this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ game and go play literally anything else. I'd rather guzzle diarrhea our of the gaping rear end of an elderly alpaca than even think about playing The Wardrobe again. I'm gonna have to get ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ therapy after playing this.

this game is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ impossible without a guide but with all the giant naked feet how can i complain

i literally cant stop ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ playing this game someone please help me

this is the kind of game i'd play 0.013 seconds after having sex

now can we all stop ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ complaining about the remaster lmao

wallace is such a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ embarrassing sexless virgin he needs to invent a way to get coochie on his ♥♥♥♥ pronto