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"sometimes your opponent is just very lucky"
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"Why pass the ball when you can pass away?" -Kobe Bryant
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"who ever said that the pen is mightier than the sword has obviously never seen a fully automatic rifle" -Gen. Douglas McArthur
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"You know just because you can doesn't mean you should." -some guy in a parking lot i met trying to talk me out of using the shopping carts as go karts
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"im moving up and down side to side like a rollercoaster" -lando norris
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"A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic." - Mio Honda

"Ramona Flowers is just Patrick Bateman for women." - guy in some youtube comments section

"♥♥♥♥♥ ain't the sole purpose of life buddy" -anon

"Into B comes in. Smokes, see a double smokes in a same place there. s1mple just jumping cautiously into a side, he's gonna fall down again! Where is this clutch from? s1mple are you serious? What is that? You can't do that s1mple, that's not allowed, this is not FPL, this is a MAJOR!!!" -
Jamesbardolph

"my washing machine makes better sounds than yb ever will" -anon

"Telling an obese person that they shouldn't lose weight because they're beautiful, is like telling alcoholics to continue drinking because they're funny" -anon

"you're right for speeding to that song, but please don't do it where the police are" -officer after pulling me over while i was listening to freebird

"So as a joke I went to my friend's house wearing Pekora's wig and clothes." -anon

"The gods gave us fire. But blowing stuff up? That was our idea." - Ahoy

"You can't call yourself peaceful if you're not capable of violence. If you're not capable of violence, you're not peaceful. You're harmless." -anon

“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.” - Hunter S. Thompson

"The thing about fireworks is that they're not remembered by how they flew up, they're remembered by how they explode" -anon

"Lords of the Lockerroom is art. Maybe not art of the highest caliber, but certainly not of the lowest either. It did not break ground and it did not resolve or present a morale or message for the masses. LOTL is a stopgap, a moment in time captured in film, of the beginning of something truly fantastic. When it was created Mr Harrington could not have predicted the effect it would have on his life, how much of an effect the film would have on the lives of millions of thrill seeking onlookers who had grown bored of the WWE and other such displays of mainstream "manliness". The nature of the lockerroom, of the men involved, had at the time not been fully realized. In hindsight we know now that this film was not meant to be special, not meant to push boundaries or break norms. It was made for simple titillation. But it is from this humble beginning that sparked the career that made many internet viewers astounded. This film changed the very definition of the terms: wrestling, manliness, leather, and jabroni. There is no way a film of this type should have been such a fortuitous venture. And yet it was. The only quarrel I have with the film is the audio, the sound is remarkably poorly produced in the lockerroom scenes and if it were not for the fact that I have seen the film 36 times by now I would find it hard to distinguish what the characters were saying. Especially Mr Steel during his introduction. That being said, just watch it, you may be surprised about how you feel once you've appropriately..."finished"." -anon on IMDB

“Any time somebody calls attention to the breaking of gender roles, it ultimately undermines the concept of gender equality by implying that this is an exception and not the status quo.” -knuckles from sonic boom

"FIGHT LIKE A BUTTERFLY, STING LIKE A ♥♥♥♥♥!" -VJ Emmie

"call me kevin spacey, cause i only pull 10s" - Anon from /b/

"all girls lie about being bisexual for attention" - i am barely hanging on

"zootopia miscarage fanfic is peak" -???

"I took ballistics in school, fascinating subject. Things go up, things go down." - random CoH2 dude

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-Commodore 64
-Hamster on wheel
-20hz VCR player
-Sony walkman
-President George W. Bush
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Commissions are (maybe) open