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ㅤ* In a courtroom, a mugger was on trial. The victim, asked if she recognised the defendant, said, "Yes, that's him. I saw him clear as day. I'd remember his face anywhere." Unable to contain himself, the defendant burst out with, "She's lying! I was wearing a mask!"
ㅤ* A man strolls into his local grocer's and says, "Three pounds of potatoes, please." "No, no, no", replies the owner, shaking his head, "it's kilos nowadays, mate..." "Oh", apologises the man, "three pounds of kilos, please."
ㅤ* Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤ teehee!