Reseñas recientes de Mankybus

I used to think puzzle games were lame when I was younger, but as I change the older I get, the more I can appreciate something slow, laid back and puts my noggin to the test, and with that I can easily say that Myst is a wonderful timeless classic that still holds up beautifully to this day. From the pre-rendered low poly 3D environments, to the puzzles that seem mind boggling at first but are very intuitive when your big brain figures them out, to the surreal atmosphere and world building, to the sense of adventure and discovery, etc, etc. It still nails all of those things remarkably well even to this day.

Of course I got a little stuck at a couple of points, mainly due to not thinking outside of the box, and needed a couple of pointers in the right direction. Otherwise it's extremely good in its puzzle design and basically gives you the solutions if you have patience, pay attention, make notes and takes screenshots and know what to keep an eye and ear out for. I honestly can't fault anything in this game, it earns the title of masterpiece since the devs have achieved everything they set out to do with Myst and is just a fantastic game to get lost in.

Myst has definitely entered my list of favourite games of all time, and if the stories of people getting hopelessly stuck put you off from this incredible classic, then don't let that dissuade you any further. If you have any interest in puzzle games, then please play Myst, you won't regret it.

I'm not doing my usual format for this review. Instead allow me to preface this review by asking you two simple questions.

1: Do you like Dark Souls 2? Then rejoice, this game is basically Dark Souls 2 2.
2: Do you dislike Dark Souls 2 but thought it had cool ideas that you would have liked to see in other games? Then rejoice also, because this game is Dark Souls 2 but better.

I'm not joking with my answer to that second question, Lords of the Fallen 2023 is basically a vastly superior Dark Souls 2, it took what that game did do well and Hexworks made a vastly superior game in almost every conceivable way. Where Dark Souls 2 felt sloppy, low quality, filled with some of the most terrible level design ever made and crammed it all with non-stop bs to create a veneer of "challenge", Lords of the Fallen feels like a really well made and well thought out Souls-like where every aspect of the game got the love it needed and deserved. Plus it has excellent level design filled with shortcuts, really weighty and responsive combat, great build variety, a large number of really unique and interesting spells, a great system for ranged combat, useful consumables and so much more.

Combine those positive I mentioned with inspiration from Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver and its world of the dead mechanic in the form of Umbral and heavy inspiration from Blasphemous in its art direction, then you have a game that's very both interesting and a ton of fun. Plus the game has a great interconnected world, which made my second playthrough without the use of warp really fun to adventure through.

It's not without its faults of course. The game does have balance problems, with some bosses being too easy while certain mobs can be really difficult and it still has a slew of performance issues still in dire need of a remedy. Players have also reported online play being finicky, but I haven't experienced any issues during the multiple times I got invaded. It does also have its fair share of jank, sometimes getting stuck on an incline you have to roll off of or falling off the edge of ledges where you think its safe to stand.

But despite its faults, I find the game's positives far outweigh its current negatives, which will seemingly be smoothed out even more over time thanks to the regular updates adding new content, features and tightening the experience up as a whole. In fact, I liked the game so much I did a second playthrough right after finishing my first, which I almost never do. The last two Souls games that managed to get me doing that is the original Dark Souls and Hellpoint, which are among my favourite games of all time.

It's also a game you can make as easy or as challenging as you want, giving the player the opportunity to create their own checkpoints with vestige seedlings and offering summons for boss fights, along with other forms of help. Hexworks have also designed the game to work really well with challenge runs, which made my second playthrough, a low vestige seedling, warpless run, incredibly fun. It's gotten me cooking up more ideas in my head on how to challenge myself in future playthroughs.

Lore-wise this game takes everything from the first game, vastly improves upon it all and expands upon its lore, stories, themes and characters in ways that makes its world feel like one that's worth delving into, while remaining faithful and respectful to what Deck 13 made in the first Lords of the Fallen. It also tapped into my nostalgia nicely, seeing gear from the original and reading lore mentioning events from the original. And as someone who actually liked the original game, it even got me with a few feelsy moments involving a certain important character that ties back to the original game, which I will not spoil for obvious reasons.

So despite the mixed reception this game has gotten, for me it just proves that a game being rated as "mixed" does not always equate to it being bad, which people seem to forget. While it absolutely has its issues which are in need of fixing, Lords of the Fallen 2023 has ended up becoming my second favourite Souls-like so far, it's just barely behind Hellpoint since that game still does the interconnected world and sense of exploration a lot better. But the sheer amount of work, love and quality put into every aspect of this game by Hexworks is undeniable.

I am really excited to see what this developer will do with future updates and potential DLC. It also seems to have sold well enough to warrant a sequel one day, so I am very excited to see what the future of this series holds.

A (currently) criminally overlooked boomer shooter. It's essentially what you get if Tim Burton wanted to make a shooter, and it's good, very good even - in fact I'd dare say it's absolutely fantastic. The gameplay is what you get if you take the combat from Quake and build it around game design similar to Painkiller and Serious Sam, with plenty to explore and a lot of carnage to create with your tools of destruction. As usual I break things down:

Pros:
- Chunky gameplay with very satisfying weaponry
- A small but well defined roster of enemies
- Really creative and cool levels that look and feel unique, weird, creative and distinct
- A soundtrack one may consider to be an absolute banger
- Plenty of replay incentives
- Performance is quite good

Cons
- Hitscan enemies can be surprisingly punishing
- Might be a little expensive
- On the shorter side, for those who care about length

IllWill does so much right, to the point where I can't really point out many cons at all. Maybe a few minor bugs here and there but no substantial issues for me. The developer set out and accomplished everything they wanted to do with this game, which is to make a really fun FPS, in fact they exceeded my expectations where illWill ended up among my favourite indie boomer shooters because it has such a strong identity in its weirdness on top of its stellar gameplay.

If you're into indie shooters then there's no reason not to pick up illWill, especially if you want to support a promising developer, which would be great since its gone quite far under the radar.

A modern masterpiece, one that is sadly overlooked. My usual format for Pathologic 2 doesn't quite work here, because it's a game unlike anything I've ever played before, apart from my brief go at the original Pathologic of course.

Pathologic 2 is essentially a remake of 1. But even then calling it a simple remake is doing a disservice to both games, as it earns the 2 in its title due to some clever narrative motifs. It's a do-over, a take two of the first game on many interesting levels, thus you won't need to play Pathologic 1 to enjoy 2.

On the surface, Pathologic 2 is a survival game with elements of horror built on top of immersive sim design; it's a game that makes you uneasy, dreading the challenges you're about to face, fearing for the fates of the characters you love and constantly pressuring you to look after yourself as you survive a truly terrible plague. How you go about surviving the harsh town on the Gorkhon or whether you should use your medical skills to find a cure for such a terrible foe that beset the people is entirely up to you, freedom of choice but almost every choice you make has great consequences.

Everything is a resource; your health, your needs, your reputation, your crafting items, your weapons, your common folk and even your time is all a resource, a currency even. You're always having to trade something off to do something else, you will never be able to do everything so you need to manage everything wisely, plan well ahead of time and choose who should live even if it means someone else has to die.

The story, world building, characters, etc are all absolutely phenomenal - the writing alone in the story was more than enough to keep me hooked on what's going on and that writing is so good, so well thought out, so meaningful that almost everything everyone says has some hidden meaning. Small inconsequential details almost always culminate into some major revelation, giving you an insight in what characters think even if they don't say it out loud - the game kept me constantly reading between the lines and even then it still managed to surprise me where every big story moment hit as hard as it should have.

The game's systems allows for some great emergent storytelling with the characters who can die, some huge arcs can be completely missed if you neglect others, and seemingly normal conversations can hit so much harder when the plague takes those who you live the most, allowing for some really emotional and impactful moments that other games simply don't have. The game's treatment of important characters dying in the most uneventful way possible, treating them as just another statistic of dead townsfolk, just twists the knife in your heart ever deeper.

Sure there are some issues; performance leaves a lot to be desired, some animations are straight up not very good to say the least and it is technically an unfinished game. But elements other people see as flaws such as the janky combat, the punishing difficulty and such are totally intentional - because you are Artemy Burakh; a healer, not a fighter. Your job to keep the sick treated, to find out how to beat the plague and to save as many lives as possible. The game even makes a remark multiple times to not get into fights and to take good care of yourself as much as possible, combat should only be an absolute last resort option to keep yourself alive or if you manage to get the jump on your enemies via stealth or stocked up on powerful firearms to get much needed supplies. But even then you will spend resources, you will have to repair those weapons, bandage up your wounds, etc, and all of that can cost precious other resources, reputation and, most importantly, time.

Is it an unfair game? Yes, absolutely. But don't let that dissuade you from playing Pathologic 2, because that struggle is built into the core systems and even the storytelling, and most importantly the presentation of that storytelling. It takes some incredibly clever, weird and meta turns in how it presents its narrative and "the point" of what Pathologic 2 is trying to convey to the audience - which is you, the player. And like I said, the story alone is absolutely worth the trials and tribulations ahead because the pay offs of those arduous build-ups is always worth it, every single time.

Honestly, I can gush all day about this amazing game, if you have a friend who talks your ear off about Pathologic 2, then just know there's a VERY good reason why they do, because I honestly can't recommend it enough. It really is that incredible, so much so it's easily in my top 10 games of all time, I'm already excited to do a replay to see how differently things can play out if I approach everything in different ways.

Even at full price I strongly recommend you play Pathologic 2, there's a ton of game to sink your teeth into with about 25-35 hours for a first playthrough and it is filled to the brim with incentives to replay. And if you find it too tough then don't despair, because the game allows you to tweak as many elements as you could possibly with some of the best difficulty customisation I've ever seen in a game, you can't get rid of that challenge entirely but it is approachable to many people. And can also be made so much more dread-inducing to veterans of the game, if you're a glutton for punishment.

Munin is one of those games that I thought I was going to think is mostly just okay, and yet it ended up being one of my favourite puzzle games after getting more into the genre in recent months. Plus it helps greatly that it has a Norse mythology setting as you traverse the nine worlds of Yggdrasil.

The idea of the game is to flip tiles of a map around in order to progress through the levels to collect feathers to beat levels, but it is a formula that is constantly shaken up, with each world having its own unique mechanic with elements such as boulders, water, lasers, connecting runes by spinning tiles and two tiles being spun at once, etc. The game's mechanics are often taken to such extremes that there are some incredibly challenging, complex and unique puzzles to be solved, especially on the final levels of each chapter. The final world is especially unique for not only being gorgeous but also unique to every other world as it combines most of the game's previous mechanics together to create a deep and rewarding final chapter.

There's more to talk about, both good and bad but as usual I break things down for those who prefer a TL;DR:
Pros:
- Unique tile spinning premise for a puzzle game
- Easy to get into but difficult to master
- Tons of variety, with each world having its own unique mechanic
- Lovely and varied artwork
- A great soundtrack; from relaxing to dark and foreboding to outright triumphant at times with that Nordic flair

Cons:
- Might be too difficult for some people
- Jumping can be quite inconsistent, sometimes you jump up ledges without issue and sometimes you fall slightly short
- Spinning tiles can be strangely unresponsive on rare occasions
- Death is far too harsh and forces you to recollect all the feathers you got before
- No proper level select, meaning you have to play through entire chapters to get specific achievements

Munin has such a strong identity that its uniqueness and inventiveness makes me recommend this game to just about anyone interested in puzzle games, especially if you have the wits to solve those really challenging levels. Honestly I'm quite proud of myself that I never used a guide, considering how difficult some of the game's levels can end up getting, it's definitely one of those games where patience, thinking and experimentation to find the right solutions and methods really elevates the experience for me.

It goes for pretty cheap pretty much all the time so definitely give it a shot!

Blasphemous is not a Souls-like despite popular belief, it's a Metroidvania through and through. And it's another one of those games I really wanted to love, but I just can't. It's a game with a really gorgeous aesthetic, with so much love and talent poured into its world and art, but I feel the gameplay falls so incredibly short compared to its surface elements that I honestly don't understand how the game itself got so much praise.

It's not all bad though, because when it's at its best it can be a ton of fun and most of the bosses are incredibly creative and really fun to fight that I didn't mind attempting them over and over again. But its issues permeate the entire experience and thus severely hurts the game for me to the point I can confidently say I don't like Blasphemous very much. As usual I break things down:

Pros:
- Incredible artwork with a gorgeous dark fantasy aesthetic
- Excellent music, which really adds to the atmosphere
- Fantastic boss fights that all felt unique with interesting quirks and methods to beat them
- Highly explorable world, with tons of branching paths and secrets to discover and shortcuts going back to previous areas
- Interesting magic system. with a unique way of gaining more magic by damaging yourself
- Lore seems quite interesting and very in-depth
- Parry mechanic has a ton of usage compared to most other games
- A wealth of content, being reasonably lengthy with extra modes, difficulties and secret activities to find
- Sliding stab attack is pretty damn great

Cons:
- Combat is extremely basic and anaemic and takes a bit too long to get the interesting abilities
- Unresponsive controls where my inputs were actively ignored, especially in combat when I want to slash upwards but Penitent One continues to attack horizontally, or sometimes he doesn't jump when I clearly pressed jump
- Enemies can have attacks that are insanely difficult to avoid and have absurd damage outputs, made even worse when you have extremely limited healing compared to most games
- Terrible hitboxes; there have been many times where I was clearly out of range of many melee attacks but somehow I still get caught and suffer huge damage
- Contact damage; in a game where you're learning attack patterns, dodging past enemies and trying to exploit their openings, this mechanic is incredibly dumb, runs counter to flow of combat and feels needlessly cheap, especially when the contact damage hitbox lingers after certain enemies and bosses teleport away
- The vast majority of even the most basic enemies will never stagger from your attacks even with your most powerful attacks, yet you're staggered and thrown off of ledges with every single attack which again feels dumb and cheap
- Not enough opportunities to use special attacks and combos that you unlock, with enemies having countermeasures against them or by simply being a bad idea to use as they open you up to damage and knockback
- Certain enemies have combos that are timed perfectly to hit you after getting knocked down, meaning you'll suffer multiple hits and unable to dodge away - this is especially prevalent with bosses that use lightning attacks
- A certain section of a game has you getting locked in arenas to deal with enemies, however one enemy type regularly bugs out and stops you from killing it, meaning you have to reset the game to continue and hope it doesn't bug out again
- Platforming can feel very wonky and inconsistent, sometimes you jump up to a platform high enough to clearly land on it but you just fall right through, and sometimes Penitent One will grab onto a ledge and sometimes he won't
- Certain ranged enemies and traps are deliberately placed to knock you off ledges and into instant death spikes, which itself isn't a problem but Blasphemous overuses this trope in many areas and is just irritating
- Teleporters are rather poorly placed, sometimes you go through huge swathes of the world map without a single teleporter to previous areas, while other parts of the map have two teleporters very close together

So yeah Blasphemous has some really great moments but it's so bogged down by all of the issues I've mentioned, so much so to the point that I can comfortably say that it just isn't a very good game at all. I cannot fathom why people love it so much unless they're a glutton for punishment, which is fitting for the themes of the game, I guess? So maybe it's doing something right.

It's a real shame because it has everything it needs to be a great game, fantastic even, maybe a full on indie classic. But I can't ignore the incredibly sloppy execution and terrible inconsistencies that actively plague the entire game from start to finish. So many issues that I am amazed that so many people either completely ignore or have just forgotten even exist. I'm one of those people who thinks "Surely a game this beloved must be loved for a reason and I just don't get it", but after beating the game my scepticism was proven true and I think it's just overhyped fluff and a great big disappointment. There are Metroidvanias out there that are so much better and far more considered than Blasphemous. Not to knock the developers as they clearly poured a lot of love into it but sadly that effort didn't translate into a fun game, I wish them all the best on their next project though.

If you're looking for a similar game to Blasphemous and want to support Team 17 then pick up Thymesia instead, that game has some absolutely stellar combat with very interesting and unique mechanics, and is just a much better use of your time.

The Surge is a game I really, REALLY wanted to love and I gave it the best possible shot I could, but it just isn't very good when you get down to the nitty gritty of the game's issues. I'm not doing my usual review format because I don't think it will convey my frustrations at just how bad this game can get.

To start off with the good - at first it's kinda boring and dull but mostly fine, the game does a fine job at teaching the player the mechanics you need to know and the combat itself is quite fun and very satisfying when you learn attack patterns, how useful blocking is and how severing limbs for resources and gear. It has some really great labyrinthine level design, each area focusing on a single checkpoint which forced the level designers to get very creative and get you familiar with the layouts and checkpoints - it is easily the game's biggest strength and highest point by far.

The story is very on the nose compared to other Souls-likes, but there is definitely an interesting story and uncovering the mystery is quite satisfying as it takes you into the dark and grim side of what's going on. It really nails that element of cyber horror where technology is gone very wrong.

Another thing I liked is the dodge system, which has way more depth than most other Souls-likes, at least on paper. Certain enemy attacks will hit you if you dodge in the wrong direction which does encourage learning enemy attacks, but you can also make use of the jump and crouch dodge manoeuvres on certain attacks and then hit them with a critical attack that deals huge damage and knockback, although it's risky since timing is key and failing to pull it off will knock you back when hit.

Of course blocking is also extremely viable, and for some builds with certain implants it can be amazing and really fun - which means this game has some great build variety with lots of tools to play with and plenty of implants to make a playstyle that feels like your own. I ended up having a tanky two hander with lots of health to power through combos and to gain tons of energy through blocking, which in turn I can use my energy to heal myself repeatedly. There's some really great build possibilities here for sure.

As for things that are quite hit or miss, first is definitely the bosses, some of them are great and have some unique and interesting elements you have to consider when fighting them; things such as getting one boss to hit itself with its own rockets to expose its weakpoint, taking off the legs of one boss to make it vulnerable to more damage, fighting a boss as it's throwing debris around and using it as a makeshift weapon, there are some cool fights here.

However there are some awful ones too; one is just a meat grinder where you need to destroy its arms but they're so fast and numerous that you just have to hope you can tank it, one keeps running away from the fight and summons multiple versions of a previous boss while they HEAL and the final boss has you hitting specific limbs but is designed terribly as it jerks around to face you so it can deny you those much needed hits, despite being a massive boss that shouldn't have so much mobility. So yeah, bosses can range from really cool and creative to cheap, unfair and outright atrocious.

As for the bad, oh boy there's a lot here. While most of the game is actually fine, some frustrating bits here and there but they're mostly fair with some decent enemy placement, plenty of shortcuts and enough build variety to fight enemies in ways you'd like the most within the game's parameters. However it's the late game where all of the game's problems are laid bare.

Aside from the rubbish bosses I mentioned which all happen in the latter half, the same issue is extended to basic enemies; some of them will ignore the poise mechanic and power through regardless, which in turn refills their poise to full, enemies deal huge amounts of damage so quickly and can stagger you long enough to hurl even more devastating hits that you can't do anything about, some hitboxes are absolutely terrible and go past your blocking or just simply hit you when they shouldn't. Some of the most basic enemies can have so much health that they can take ages, especially if you're going for body armour for upgrades and new gear, while they can pummel you with just a few hits - again that's just for the most basic enemies.

Another major issue of this game is dodge catching, or rather you time and position your dodges correctly but somehow, for some reason, your enemies will land their attacks even when you did everything correctly to avoid. I can't tell if this is some sort of bug where your i-frames during dodges don't activate or if it's an intended mechanic but the player has no idea what they did wrong and the game makes no effort to convey that information in the slightest. This issue gets so atrociously bad towards the late game that dodging felt so unsafe I ended up relying on blocking almost exclusively.

In the late game the problems are further compounded by the game introducing new mechanics to deal with incredibly dangerous enemies you've never faced before and with no prior introduction of said mechanics in a safer environment, meaning you can't get your bearings as the solution is obscured from you and you're far away from the closest shortcut. Things such as having to overload an one of the most unfair enemy types to defeat it, which I couldn't figure out because the prompt never appeared until I looked up help on how to beat them, or having to do... something to the adds that a certain late game boss keeps spawning, I still don't know how I beat them because the game obscures this information and the developers make no attempt to help the player understand the situation, you're just thrown into the deep end and told to break a leg.

At that point it felt like the developers were less concerned with making a fun and interesting game and more concerned with making a hard and punishing game to put hair on a man's chest, except they fundamentally misunderstood what makes Souls-likes and their difficulty so rewarding. In The Surge, there is no reward for putting up with punishment, there's just more punishment taken to new heights until things become completely absurd - no interesting super weapons, no cool secrets or easter eggs to find, no interesting character interactions, no hidden areas to uncover, nothing. It's just pain and more pain.

I don't think the game should have been easier, I like the challenge when it was fair, I just wanted to game to be far more carefully considered to where the player can overcome anything if they were smart and skillful enough to beat everything, but instead it just turned into a meat grinder where I got absolutely nothing out of it.

I don't think I'll replay this and I don't think I'll bother with The Surge 2 for a long time. Such a shame because I really liked Deck 13's previous game Lords of the Fallen quite a bit. While The Surge is quite unique for a Souls-like, it just completely loses sight of what makes these games so great. I can't recommend.

Dolmen is another game in the ever popular Souls-like genre with inspirations from third person shooters like Dead Space, and it's a game that got critically slammed by almost everyone. But I'm not going to slam it, because I honestly really enjoyed my time with this game quite a bit. Sure it's quite amateurish in places, has some balance issues and moments where I'm scratching my head trying to figure out what on Earth the developers were thinking at certain points of the game - but those high points are extremely high, more than enough to make me recommend Dolmen. As usual I break things down into bullet points:

Pros:
- Satisfying gameplay that strongly encourage mixing up melee and ranged weapons on the fly
- A large variety of one handed and two handed weapons, with a nice selection of unique guns with primary and secondary fire modes
- Energy system adds a nice resource dynamic, making you balance your healing, guns and reactor as they can cut into each other
- Reactor system that allows players to apply extra damage. status and keep their combo going with the energy meter is great
- Pushing the players to use status effects creates some great strategies and encourages mixing up your weapons
- Technology system that pushes players into using certain gear can allow for some interesting playstyles
- Some really great alien locations
- Unique and very alien enemies with drastically different behaviours and attack patterns to overcome
- The game makes parry-able and unparry-able attacks well defined with some useful visual feedback when enemies wind up their attacks
- Most bosses are very good, with a few notable ones being amazing in my opinion
- All boss fights are repeatable as many times as you want, so long as you have Dolmen fragments
- A grinder's paradise for wanting to get rare drops, materials and currency for levels ups, though no grinding is required to beat the game
- Robust crafting system that is your only way to get gear, but allows you to tune them with upgrade materials
- Has some nice fashion
- It's short length works in its favour, as it doesn't outstay its welcome
- A more straight forward story compared to other Souls-likes, if you prefer that

Cons:
- Level design is a huge mixed bag; some areas are really well designed and fun to play through, while other areas are far too big with far too much running and nothing else
- Enemy placements are also a mixed bag, with some placed very well while others are scattered around places all hodge podge while some massive areas have no enemies at all
- Some boss runs are agonizing, thanks to spread out checkpoint placements and zero shortcuts to previous ones
- Painfully linear, a straight line from A to B with only a couple of offshoots
- No New Game Plus, meaning all you can do after beating the game is grind for achievements or restart a new game
- Some enemies are irritating and quite unbalanced in damage output and defense
- Certain enemies can have unblockable attacks or poor telegraphing
- Certain guns like the shotgun and Driller MG has its spread increased when locked on, locking off and aiming makes them much better
- Multiplayer is disappointing, as it's reserved purely for boss fights
- Story and lore fails to grasp, with not much going on outside of what you're playing
- Voice acting is very amateurish, but the boring kind sadly
- The UI in the most of the game menus is horrible and needlessly hard to keep track of things
- Full price is asking for way too much

So yes, the sci-fi theme and the mixing of gunplay really drew me to this game - as a fan of Hellpoint and Immortal Unchained it seemed totally up my alley. However the game falls short compared to both of those in several areas mentioned in the cons, which are some glaring faults for me and it's easy to see why people may not like the game, but the biggest thing holding Dolmen back is easily the price. If the game was £15-£20 at full price then it would be a lot easier to digest, but sadly £38 is asking for far too much for a game as flawed as this. I picked it up at 75% off which was about £9 and I'd say I definitely got my money's worth and really enjoyed my time with the game despite the obvious stumbles.

Perhaps the developers can really iron out the issues and polish things up with a DLC or even a full on sequel at some point, but as it stands it's a very flawed but extremely enjoyable game for the part, and I recommend it for Souls-likes fans looking for something a bit different to the usual formula.

EDIT: Added a couple pros and cons that I forgot about while writing this review.

Chop Goblins is a truly deep and philosophical game; asking us what is it to chop and also asking us what it is to be chopped. To explore the deep entangled web that is Chop Goblins, we must chop the goblins while they in turn try to chop us and to do that we must chop really good before the goblins end up chopping us.

It truly is a masterpiece on the nature of chopping and it ask us to chop in order to reach the true levels of what it means to truly chop, in a world where there is only chopping. And Goblins. And Chopping Goblins. And Goblins who chop. Our enemies, the Chop Goblins, show us the meaning of chopping but by chopping them we learn the sadness of the chop and they in turn learn the futility of the chop. It is truly a neverending cycle of chopping, that not even the Chop Goblins themselves could ever hope to see the end of chop.

Truly a heartbreaking tale of what it means to chop, what it means to be a goblin, and what it means to be a chop goblin and to chop goblins. We now know why we cry whenever there's onions to chop, but it's not the onions who chop, it is the Chop Goblins.

I am absolutely terrible at this game, I get beaten up all the time and the game insults me with stone award after stone award. My ego is completely damaged and I'm in tears - but I would do it again for Mummy Bayonetta.