Recent reviews by Lord Crocosquirrel

140 hours and counting, I see a lot of individual stories, each different, combined with a perfectly reasonable environmental message considering the location of the developers. Well done.

Strong recommend

If you liked the last one, you're gonna have a great time :)

I'll update later with a bit more detail.

It's rare to find a strategy game that isn't beyond tedious and rife with opportunities to get yourself one-shot, followed nearly immediately by being dead (and a Game Over screen).

Tears of Avia has a few bits of glitter that most lack: You can pick from a collection of five protagonists: Momoko the Cleric, Iris the Mage, Raul the Brawler, Reina, the arrow-slinging Ranger, and Kai, the would-be knight. Each has their own personalities, but mostly they're a collection of tropes surrounding their class. Momoko wants to see the good in everyone, Raul does the heavy lifting in the starting town, Iris seems to want to burn down taverns at random, Reina's a loner, and so on. Somewhat less than brilliant, but there are a few jokes around here and there.

Wandering around town takes some getting used to, though. Direct movement is awkward-- based on WASD, rather than simply turning right and moving along, the game turns the camera, which can clip into the scenery, and pushes it around to make things difficult to see. You also need to zoom in while in tight quarters, lest you start conversations with people you've already talked to as opposed to the critter you wanted to. Annoying, but not deadly.

As for combat, that's going to be much as you'd expect if you're accustomed to SRPGs. Move, attack, wait, or some combination thereof. You can't walk through other characters on the field-- at all. Friend, enemy, it makes no difference. If you went for the narrative mode, you're going to be doing rather a lot of damage compared to the enemies HP. Hardcore difficulty means you're about to have a Bad Day. I haven't yet gotten properly stuck into Hardcore mode, but the attempt to start that game ended very badly indeed for Kai. Reina and her bow might do better.

In the end, the game does well for what it is. It's not Final Fantasy Tactics, and it really doesn't need to be. Comparing Tears of Avia to more mainstream series does both a serious disservice. My recommendation would be to pick it up when you have a day or three to kill, and give it a go. Reina and Momoko are way too cute for words.

Expend time and effort to determine that the game makes Digital Homicide quality look like CD Projekt Red, forget about it for a couple of years, and get not only a key revoked but one's thread asking about it sent down the memory hole.

Bad Dev! No biscuit!

One of the more... Interesting takes on the JRPG-thing-- and anime baseline (take that Australian Senator of perverted), of a VR world designed by a pair of virtual idols.

One of which is out to help you escape the world. Because you're stuck here, whether you like it or not. the other one can send you home, but really doesn't want to. So she won't.

From here you embark on a quest to make the opposing Virtual Idol let you out. On the way you'll fight Digiheads, potential friends, and powerful Musicians.

Not for the brass tacks:

Graphics - Not what most people would think as brilliant, but like so many other things in the game, it's fitting when you look at environment it's in.

Story - Intriguing premise, but it seems like it's overly gameplay-heavy for a JRPG. Grinding is a thing, although at lesser difficulties it's not completely terrible.

Combat - Here's where the game shines. Some find it obtuse, but the added layer of strategy (and being able to check your handiwork) really does make a difference.

Price: A bit expensive, especially with the DLC (If you want that, get the Deluxe version. Cheaper). If you're of the "1 hour per dollar" folks, you'll probably get your money's worth from the base game. The swimsuit set has some really cute bits for the girls, but the guys all dress like tools. I know I wouldn't be caught dead in that. Seriously. Not great, but not terrible. Would have been better about $10 less for the base game.

Of course that's my opinion.

Do I recommend it? Yes, yes I do. It's a new take with very tightly-designed environments, characters, and combat. The soundscape can be rather... monotonous, but you can mute that if you hate earworms. Even that has a story connection ;)

Go get it if you're looking for a new take, or wait for a sale if you if you feel like.

Why do a review for a game that's now eleven years old?

There are a few reasons, I suppose why anyone does anything. This time, I'll give you a couple of my favorites:

1) The developer asked. They provided the copy, so why not?

2) They recently released a retooled edition.

Chains is a puzzle game. Sounds simple, right?

Well, not that you'd think after spending a couple of hours with it. The first puzzle will draw you in, followed not by a speed increase, a la Tetris, but a completely NEW puzzle with completely different rules. Perfect for committing violence on your day, or distracting kids from their chores and/or homework.

It does engage the brain trying to solve puzzles, all based on color-matching, basic physics, and in some cases, math.

None of which is a Bad Thing.

Would I sink a week into the game? Probably not. I wouldn't see my wife and kids for at least three days.

Chains is technically competent, capable of stealing a couple of hours out of your day, and consistently providing non-artificial challenges. Some of the puzzles have a degree of time-crunch. Others, it pays to take your time and think your way through.

i know, I know. Compared to the usual Wall O'Text, this review looks a hair thin on the ground. It is, to a point-- Not as much to wax poetic about, I suppose. It was a solid game for its day, and it's aged well, all things considered. For the price tag, it's a solid game with no major buggies, and even if you like the $1/hr metric, you'll get that easily.

Overall, I'd rate this one 7/10: Technically competent, varied enough to grab puzzle addicts and keep them busy for weeks, and a fairly forgiving difficulty curve. If you like puzzles that go from dead easy to freaking demonic over the course of an entire game, then get it now. If you like puzzles strictly for clock assassination purposes while waiting for a render, or a loading screen, or whatever, then grab it on a sale.

Those of you who've wandered their way through my less-than-exhaustive collection of reviews know that I love me a good Hack'em up. I cut my hacking gamer teeth on Uplink, played a bit of Hacknet, before coming to the wall of VR gorgeous that is Ed Neil's Darknet.

After all of that, you'd expect I wouldn't want to go back to the ARG-driven realms of Uplink and Hacknet, right?

That's not just wrong, it's very nearly fractally wrong. Each one of those has its upsides and downsides, but that's what comes of Hollywood Hacking.

NITE Team 4 is a strange sort of bird that mixes all of the above with its own takes and even some interesting characters along the way. So far I've had dealings with Sgt Wheeler and "Agent Dylan"-- the first a straight-laced sort of critter that will initially remind you a lot of a mother that's not in the best of moods, but still gives you the impression that whatever the problem is, it has nothing to do with you.

Dylan is your big brother, class clown, and all-round nutcase that's a blast to hang out at the bar wit after a hard day of beating your computer with a stick. He even does the obvious thing with the pr0n, just to troll you a bit once you get to the end... And still no oppai.

Upon loading the game up for the first time, you need to create an account. Not my favorite thing, but I didn't wind up with a bunch of spam inside of ten minutes... So I'll forgive them that one. Not like it's my biggest pet peeve or something. Pay 2 Win, that's LOADS worse. NITE Team 4 seems to have missed that part out somehow.

Not that everything is teacakes and roses on this side of the screen, however. The Network Administrator DLC (which is mostly a construction kit, if I read it right), is $60 on top of a $35 game. That said, I haven't given it a look-see, so it's entirely possible that it's worth jacking the price of the game to nearly $100, assuming you're not interested in the soundtracks. 2($5) for those.

Yes, I'm done whining now. Although the average person would see this as a mere game, the procedures, technologies, and other bits and bobs are entirely realistic given not just the time in which the game is set, but today as well. You have scripts and the like to automate most the the really ugly stuff, but you still have to have the procedures fixed in your little brain, or you'll wind up wasting precious time looking up man pages.

Now onward to the tools-- SplinterOS is set up in such a way that most of the stuff you *must* have is right to hand, but there are occasions where you will need to look things up in your choice of FlamingFennec, Croak, AnimalTourism, or whatever. Remember, all the way at the top, when I mentioned ARGs?

Yep. This one is one of those. It does blend things in rather nicely, but if you're one of the p33ps that can't be bothered to get up in the morning unless all your games are in 4k running at 144 fps forced fullscreen, you're gonna have a bad time. I maintain a dual-monitor setup just for this sort of emergency ;)

Now, down to brass tacks. The game does have to have an always-online internet connection, although in this case, I'll cut A&S some slack-- If you want to know more, see the paragraph before last.That's the downside. All the other games I've mentioned thus far were completely self-contained. This one is not. Not a bad thing, but as usual YMMV.

For the good bits: The game is rather sedate-- no huge action setpieces, nobody's going to apply ECT if you make a typo. You will think, you will learn. I haven't seen much of a narrative yet, but just under the surface there's an established world that sumbunny spent a sizable fraction of his or her life working on.

I approve.

In the visuals department, it's not the latest DMC or sommat, but they're pretty for what the game actually is. The interface is nice and clean, without a bunch of drek flying around everywhere and getting underfoot.

Did I like it?

Yes, yes I did. I went back to it several times after the stream ended, just to hang out with Dylan and Sgt Wheeler. At $35 base, I might wait for a sale if you're relatively poor, but if you have the dosh, put it down and support the devs best you can. They put a lot of love into a game they wanted to play, and it really does show through. I'm waiting for a shot at Network Administrator, and I'll ramble on about that later if I can get my paws on it.

Either way, if you like a good hacking game that doesn't involve pipes, get this one. It's a natural extension of Uplink and Hacknet, and deserves a bit of love, IMO. Also, you get cool extra stuff free if you have the other two games on Steam. Last thing, and I'll go away: If you leave the game long enough to forget how to play it, you can reset your progress.

8.5/10, would hack Cybernet again.

Evenicle: Frankly, one of the best gameplay-driven hentai games I've seen since the 30th of February 10,000 BCE.

I admit, I was shocked when Mangagamer offered me a copy of the game, on release day, especially for the asking price (they've done it before, but THIS one was completely out of left field). As you can see above, I played the (censored) out of this one, not only for the RPG gameplay (which was tasty in its own right), for for the various H-scenes as well. Unlike a great many other games (both VN and not), the H-scenes are blended into gameplay in such a way that each such scene drives the plot (or characters) forward from first to last (yes, even the side ones for the bonding scenes. Nice character bits in those).

Our Hero(?), Asterisk (Call me Aster) is a randy boi with loads of combat training and only about five years of memories. He's spent most of his life in the company of twin sisters, both of which he wants to do.

There's a catch. The local Goddess slapped peeps with a pair of rules:

1) Thou shalt not Kill other Humans
2) Thou shalt only have ONE partner.

Breaking either (under normal circumstances) brands on an Outlaw, NO EXCEPTIONS. No, not even if you wind up in an involuntary gangbang. Male or Female. This doesn't apply to everybody--There's at least one other race that is NOT covered (and therefore doesn't count towards Rule 2).

If you're Human, there's an exception to BOTH rules. Join the military (be a Soldier or Knight), you can violate the First rule at will. Should you become a Knight, you get a rise in the number of wives you may have, up to a maximum of ten. Aster, ever the Hero (however unwittingly), takes the majority of his out of necessity.

There are lots of collectibles, most in places that while they may not be easy to get to, are fun in their own right. Yes, even the Megamonster fights, which while not for the faint of heart, are certainly rewarding when the massive metal monster that's been kicking your asses for the last hour decides to tanke a dirt nap just as your supplies and HP are about to give up the ghost.

I'm giving it a strong recommend. It's a solid game, not prone to major bugs (although there are a small handful of minor ones), the story works, and (shockingly) remains consistent throughout. I'm giving this one a 9.5/10, even with the occasional bits of cringe. Characters are well-realized (and will even lampshade their own tropes occasionally), each has their own backstory and personality (yes, even the minor characters), and it's a fun little romp through the tulips (in every sense of the pronunciation of that word). Even at the full price, it's a solid deal for anyone that like exploration RPGs and Hentai(especially the ones that make sense).

The Spirit Master of Retarnia: First-person dungeon crawler, sex scenes both consensual and not, and the usual grindiness that goes with it.

No problems there. The character art is a mite inconsistent (two different artists can be seen in the long-ish intro sequence alone), trope-y, campy party members (no, these are NOT the same thing), and a hilariously perverted Queen that early on instructs her Chief Minion to buy her porn. But then Sylvia also visits the Spirit girls for the purpose of Adult Education (verbal only, apparently).

From the look of the above, you'd think I didn't like it. Well, you'd be wrong. Mostly.

There are a few things I wasn't big on, and most of that was in the combat system. Most notably, the menu system. I'm accustomed, in games like these, to be able to use the primary movement controls to navigate menus and such. MOST such games to this, no matter how primitive. Even the olriginal Bard's Tale (yes, the C64 edition) gave you the option of keyboard controls.

Okay, maybe that's not *entirely* fair. It's not like the C64 even had a mouse, which is what you'll be using with this game.

That said, for the $15 normal asking price, you're not going to go that far wrong if you like first-person dungeon crawlers. Even if you don't lose to boss 'x', you'll still get to watch the scene that you would have gotten had you lost. So you're not really going to be rewarded for losing. Speaking of, you're not going to be able to watch all the scenes in a single playthrough. Once you're done with Norn's first scene (she's the tutorial character), getting a Spirit to level four affection will lock the others to level three. It IS in the tutorial, but since those are skippable (and they tell you how up front), you might miss that little bit.

Unlike Evenicle, say, where you can max out all of Aster's wives (guaranteed Harem ending), this time, it's one per playthrough.

I'm going to give this a bare recommend, with an eye towards a 6/10. It's not what I'd call terrible, but some of it is a bit uninspired. It covers all the the usual tricks, and it's a way to assassinate the clock, if nothing else. Besides, you can save literally anywhere, as long as you're not in a battle or a cutscene. Just keep your mouse hand free, and use the other one for whatever.

I've seen better, to be sure (see my Mary Skelter review), and there are far, far worse games out there to be had for a much larger financial hit.

Until next time!