i sit atop thy pile of trinkets and toiletries and think to myself, where is thy gorgeous beautiful amazingly seggsy pwetty smelly cutie pootootie poopie in my pants so out of this world stupendously bestest pwincess marwissaissa? that scwumptious itty bitty lad with them dapper toes has not been in thy line of sight in almost over a month. I hope she is winning all those roblox games that pwetty witty pwincess in her chicken nooget crown. Maybe one day this bootiful swaggsy gorgus delicious sweetie pie mature cutie poopootie will talk to me again one day. I would love for that day thy beutwifully pwitty pwincess marwissaiissiaissa will speak to me once more.

Crapping your own pants is an exceptional way of gaining respect. Whilst painting your pants brown may seem bad on the outside, trust me, it's really a blessing to yourself. Filling my drawls became a daily occurrence. Anywhere I went it's like people were punched by my overwhelming aura. Anytime I go into an elevator people either faint or run away in fear. When I walk by people on the streets they always turn their heads and give an expression I can only describe as admiration. If you're ever feeling intimidated by something life throws at you, just crap yourself and things should work out for the best.

Second grade survival guide:

• second grade gets HARD. Stay on top of all your homework.

• in sexond grade you learn the hard $hit. Multiplication is no joke. may b get a tutor

• grammer and speling will kill you so practiece a lot

• dronk water

• study 40 hours a day

• dating gets real. this is the grade to get a serious boy/girlfriend. this isn’t 1st grade anymore. cooties aren’t a thing anymore.

• if u get a bad grade punch ur teacher in their crotch!

• 99.99% of people lose their virginity in 2nd grade. don’t get left behind

• girls: no more shopping at justice or baby gap anymore. shop at the real stores now. Like Victoria secret and brandy Melville

• guys: wear heelies to get all the hoes

• you should defiantly know where you wanna go to college at this point

• take all ap classes

• $hit your pants on the first day of school to assert your dominance

I have been busy moving into my new home. Lately it's been bumming me out that I was going to be losing one of my most valued stinky homely decor, the gorgeous poop stains smeared all over on my walls and floor. But then something quite extraordinary happened to me. I came home one day to find that my door knob was broken off. Someone broke into my home, you might think this to be a problem but then when I walked inside there was something even better. An upmost dreadful stench I had dearly missed. Juicy luscious and delicious stinky human feces smeared all over my walls and floor once more, and a small beautiful gift box on my kitchen counter from non other than MarissaStinkybel with a FAT JUICILY BEAUTIFUL AND STINYKWINKY TURD INSIDE and a note saying "welcome stinkypoopoofart" That is when I truly felt at home again. Thank you for the welcoming gift

Sincerely, Nogo Nutsuck

i cannot wait to eat soggy ritz crackers from ur delicious, moist, wonky toes again. xoxo :)

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Frog blesses you