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Chris: I love you She Hulk.
Security Guard: All right son, I'm going to need those two hams back.
Chris: I... I don't have any hams.
Security Guard: Lift up your shirt son.
Chris: I need an adult. I need an adult.
Security Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty, fat, fatty. Hey Tom, he's just a fat kid. Aren't ya fatty? He's a big ol' fat kid. Here's some chocolate fatso.
Chris: Thanks.
🤕
Distrust all those who love you extremely upon a very slight acquaintance
and without any visible reason.
-- Lord Chesterfield
🤠
Q: What's the difference betweeen USL and the Graf Zeppelin?
A: The Graf Zeppelin represented cutting edge technology for its time.
😬
I'D LIKE TO BE BURIED INDIAN-STYLE, where they put you up on a high rack,
above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even
feel it.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
😙