Faster than a laser bullet
Hootsman flies to Fife
He detonates his neutron
Destroys all human life

Immortal warrior with armour made from wolf
His legend grew through centuries with the power of the hoot
His prowess on the battlefield matched only on the stage
In Hollywood he found his fame, the finest of his age

The greatest movie star who ever walked the land
If you ever meet this man I'm sure you'll understand

He's the Hollywood Hootsman
Hail! To! Hoots!
Mighty proud and standing tall
A legend to us all
He's the Hollywood Hootsman
He's! The! King!
Riding from the silver screen
Onto the battlefield
He's the king of California
Hoots!