I got Hordes of Hel thinking it’d be a little roguelite throwaway—y’know, something to crack open on the Steamdeck while I decompose on the porcelain throne. A couple of runs, a couple of wipes, call it a day.

I was wrong. This game is NOT poop-tier. It is poop-enhanced.

What started as a casual “lemme see what this is” has turned into “babe I’ll be out in a bit, I’m… uh… busy.” I have completely restructured my digestive rhythm to maximize time spent playing this chaotic, crunchy, violently satisfying gem of a game.

You like roguelites? Good. You like fast runs that make you say “ok one more” fifty-seven times? Good. You want a game that feels like Diablo but strips out the spreadsheet crap and leaves you with just the good slashy-slashy dopamine? HEL yes.

The controls are tight, the upgrades feel meaningful, and the combat absolutely slaps. You want a game where every run feels like a punk rock Viking fever dream and somehow never gets old? This is it. It's like the devs put actual effort into it or something, which is suspicious, but appreciated.

Plus they keep updating it. Like… more than they should? It's getting new features, polish, love—hell, even the bugs feel charming. I’ve played AAA games with less soul than this.

If you’re into:

Tight combat and buttery movement
Dying stupidly and immediately doing it again
Supporting devs who give a damn
Sitting way too long and realizing your legs are asleep
Roguelites that don’t waste your damn time
Then Hordes of Hel isn’t just worth it—it’s a lifestyle choice.

This isn’t bathroom gaming. This is throne-based domination.
10/10 would ruin my lower back again.