Hey guys, name's Jaykobi, but most call me Jay.

That being said, I have some wisdom to share.

Men, pay attention and I'll show you the ropes. You'll be "doing the sex" in no time if you follow my advise.

First thing you gotta do is "neg" them, i.e. say something rude but also nice. Go up to the bar and say something like, "Hey girl, does it smell like pee in here, because urinate out of ten."

After she's immediately smitten, ask her for her phone number. She'll give it to you right then and there, all ten digits. Even more if she's from the UK. Bonus!

BUT HERE'S THE THING. Don't call her. Wait exactly three days. After three days is up, you'll want to sacrifice a live goat. You heard me. A fire sacrifice is best, but blood sacrifice will do if you lack the proper materials.

After the goat is dead, say the word "fedora" three times and spin in a circle. That girl from the bar? She'll appear right in front of you, in the nude. Amazing!

I really hope this advise works for you as well as it did for me!