-rep absolute burger

im gonna hiroshima your toilet

Sitting on a toilet's seat that is still warm from the last person is the closest I’ve come to physical contact with another human in 10 years.
Sometimes when I’m feeling really alone I’ll stroll down to the nearby park/Library and read a book with an eye on the bathroom. If someone enters and is in there for more than 3 minutes I mark my spot with a bookmark and patiently wait for them to exit. The Second The door opens up and they walk out of it, I instantly stride quickly, right infront of them, to the stall before the warm porcelain hug fades. after that i proceed to sit on the warm toilet seat and i just inhale the other person's scent and aura that's still lingering around.
anyways i was just wondering, do you guys think this is a weird thing to do, cuz i just feel like it's really a normal human interaction and people really to stop judging me for doing this ...

I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of flippantly dismissing any concepts or discussions regarding gender that don't fit in with what I learned in 8th grade bio. People say to me that this joke hasn't been funny since 2014 and to at least come up with a new one, but I don't care, I'm hilarious. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Ctrl, C, and V keys on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "epic kek dank meme T rannies owned with facts and logic" and respect my right to $hit up social media. If you can't accept me you're a memeophobe and need to check your ability-to-critically-think privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

You're So Funny Bro ... I literally died laughing from that joke. Your joke was so original and complex that the simpleminded might not even understand it. You know what, while I'm laughing at your hilarious joke, I want you to raise my kids and f uck my wife. I'll probably be laughing for the next 22 years so I won't be able to take care of them. I ask you to pull out your 16-inch c ock and insert it into my wife's tight v agina.

Also, you might want to start asking for other people's iq's before sharing this joke with them due to the fact that some people might not get it and get r/woooshed. You know what, I'm going to save this on every device I have to show your kids in the future why I'm not their father anymore.

Anyway, enough of me rambling. I'm going to sign the divorce papers so you can f uck my wife asap and share your superior genes with my bloodline so i can also be somewhat a part of your great legacy.

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