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Quebec, Canada



called me mean names...
Level: Easy
Total: 30 min
Prep: 15 min
Inactive: 10 min
Cook: 5 min
Yield: 2 cups
Ingredients
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 whole jalapeno chiles
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
2 mangoes, peeled, pitted and diced
1 lime, juiced
1/4 large red onion, minced
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
Directions
Heat the vegetable oil in a small saute pan over medium-high heat. Lightly fry the jalapeno chiles, turning them in the pan until their skins are blistered, about 5 minutes. Set aside to cool. Once cooled, stem, seed and finely chop the jalapeno chiles and place them into a large mixing bowl. Add the cilantro, mangoes, lime juice and onions and season with salt and pepper. Serve immediately or store the salsa in the refrigerator in an airtight container for up to 3 days.
After the first week of being vegan I woke up ripped. My toes had so much muscle mass they looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger. My biceps were so heavy I wouldn’t be able to lift them if I wasn’t vegan. My neck had become a pyramid of muscle and vein and I was so strong I didn’t need to take my car to work, I just walked there and the city moved underneath me somehow. After the second week I laid an egg and out popped a smaller version of me. I took him with me everywhere and together we laughed at meat eaters and bashed the skulls of school children eating Lunchables. Finally on the third week I transformed into an ascended being, I shredded my human form and became a beautiful celestial piece of broccoli. Now I move across the universe blessing worlds with my wisdom of all things. I am officially a vegan.