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мразота ♥♥♥♥♥♥
Chris: Hey, if I could find it, I'd clean it up.
😍
I think that I shall never hear
A poem lovelier than beer.
The stuff that Joe's Bar has on tap,
With golden base and snowy cap.
The stuff that I can drink all day
Until my mem'ry melts away.
Poems are made by fools, I fear
But only Schlitz can make a beer.
😴
Woman on Street: Sir, you are drunk; very, very drunk.
Winston Churchill: Madame, you are ugly; very, very ugly.
I shall be sober in the morning.
😯
Peter: [Peter has taken a hose to the staircase and sprayed it with water] Hey, Brian, I made a waterslide with the stairs! [goes down the stairs hitting bumps until he hurts himself, and starts crying like a little kid]
Brian: I'm not going to call the hospital because you wouldn't learn anything if I do.
😱