"This is a real gamer" Not directed at me but I was there

"My life changed marginally when I met you" ~Stranger at target

"It's not you, it's me" my ex Steven (I still want my water bottle back you F*ck)

"Why are you asking so many questions I don't know you" -Walmart cashier

Voted most likely to get T-boned

Achievements:
-Got 99 firemaking on OSRS from wintertodt
-Fell asleep during mission impossible
-Once got a triple kill banana on inferno
-Showered this week

"voted most beautiful woman I've ever had an affair with" -Your dad