If u suck your own d ick while you turn 18, it is considered illegal due to gravitational time dilation.
Ok so hear me out. Due to gravitation time dilation, your upper body is technically older then your lower body, that is ofcourse ... due to Gravitational Time Dilation. Gravitational Time Dilation is the effect gravity has on time. The lower the gravitational potential, the faster time is. Knowing this, because your d ick has more gravitational potential then your head, your head is older then your d ick (by like less then a millionth of a nanosecond but that doesn’t matter). So if you were sucking your own d ick while you turned 18, your head would age first. This means your 18 year old head would be sucking you 17 year old d ick. and you're a pedophile. that's all i wanted to say ! Thank you for listening to my TED Talk.

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Boner physics Lesson :
If every male on earth got a boner at the same time, the earth's rotation would slow down. Assume there are about 3.8 billion males, with an average ♥♥♥♥ height of about 80 cm off the ground. The average ♥♥♥♥ weighs about 100 grams.

That's a combined mass of 380,000,000 kg of C ock

Now we must make an approximation. For simplicity's sake, let us assume the ♥♥♥♥♥ are all evenly lined up in a ring around the equator. The equation for moment of inertia of a ring is I = mass*radius^2. The radius of earth is about 6.371 million meters. Therefore the radius of the approximated ♥♥♥♥ ring is 6,371,000 + 0.80 = 6,371,000.8 meters.

I = 380,000,000*6,371,000.8^2 = 1.5424*10^22

The Earth has a moment of inertia, I = 8.04×10^37 kg*m^2. The Earth rotates at a moderate angular velocity of 7.2921159 ×10^−5 radians/second.

So in conclusion If we all have a boner at the same time, we will collectively be able to last 0.6752 nanoseconds longer in bed. Stay hard fellas.

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After a good game in CSGO, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a CS lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

+rep amazing, fast and fair trader