Unfortunately, I am
My own dog, my own fur companion
My own old lady on a forum
Who types in glittery decorum
Unfortunately, I take
Myself out walking every day and
I hand my legs to the feet and
I give my head to the leash


Every other day, I'm wondering
"What's a human being gotta be like?
What's a way to just be competent?"
These sweet instincts ruin my life
Every other day, I'm wondering
"Was it a mistake to try and define
What I'm certain's mad incompetence?"
These sweet instincts ruin my life

I can't smell well, or tell the time
Not K through 8, nor K dash 9
For human, grossly underqualified
For canine, grossly overqualified
I don't blend in at PetSmart
And that truth remains for the Walmart
'Cause in either case, they say to me
"What the ♥♥♥♥ is lost in aisle three?"

Every other day, I'm wondering
"What's a human being gotta be like?
What's a way to just be competent?"
These sweet instincts ruin my life
Every other day, I'm wondering
"Was it a mistake to try and define
What I'm certain's mad incompetence?"
These sweet instincts ruin my life


(Da, da-da, da-da, da-da-da)
(Da, da-da, da-da, da-da-da)
(Da, da-da, da-da, da-da-da)
(Da, da-da, da-da, da-da)


Just watch me, moving far away
Nobody even knows my name, and
No one suspects that I'm not fine, and
Nobody outs behavioral Frankenstein
Just look at Victor in LA
And Syd with the "Y" at U of A
And all the majors at the labels
Rebooting soon as I am able

Every other day, I'm wondering
"What's a human being gotta be like?
What's a way to just be competent?"
These sweet instincts ruin my life
Every other day, I'm wondering
"Was it a mistake to try and define
What I'm certain's mad incompetence?"
These sweet instincts ruin my life


Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da, da
Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da
These sweet instincts ruin my life
Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da, da
Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da
These sweet instincts ruin my life