You ask me for the time and notice my watch is actually a live shrimp hugging my wrist, he whispers 12:30 but he is guesstimating as shrimps usually do

If you asked me for a hamburger, but it turns out I don't really exist. Where I was originally standing, a picture of a hamburger rests on the ground.
You awake as a hamburger. You start screaming only to have special sauce fly from your lips. The world is in sepia.
Why are we speaking German? A mime cries softly as he cradles a young cow. Your grandfather stares at you as the cow falls apart into patties. You look down only to see me with pickles for eyes, I am singing the song that gives birth to the universe.

God is dead and we have killed him. -Harambe-
Jesus told me to make Obama gay with magic sprinkle dust woooooooo
hes turning gay wooooooooo

Not everyone knows this but Trump is actually a black man.
These lyrics may sound like a diplo song
But Trump is actually a black god
Do you want him to prove it?
I will take a poop in front of us
And then Trump will turn it into wine

You wont read this far so you won't see that I have a micro penis at least it's a large chode

Show me your butthole
Show me your ass pussy
AND HE WILL TURN ALL THE POOP INSIDE IT INTO WINE
TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE
TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE
TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE


It's 2005. Your entire family sits around a steamed fish. Your grandma meticulously pulls out the bones from a pile of fish meat, your grandpa tells you to eat the cheek because it's the most tender part, your mum says she likes fish belly and your dad tries to get you to eat an eyeball but you absolutely refuse.
Life's good.