Hey i saved the red one for you

UNROLL THE TADPOLE / UNCLOG THE FROG / UNLOAD THE TOAD / UNINHIBIT THE RIBBIT / UNSTICK THE LICK / UNIMPRISON THE AMPHIBIAN / UNMUTE THE NEWT / UNBENCH THE KENCH / PERMIT THE KERMIT / DEFOG THE POLLIWOG

The agents of disinformation are after me my clown friends. I know you represent the occult and I know what you're truly after. You're trying to shadowban me from real life and silence me because you know that I know too much, but I know just enough and you won't silence me. I've been shadowbanned from Facebook because I know too much but what you don't understand is that I'll always never be silenced. Joe Rogan told me to watch out for the lizards but what he hadn't accounted for was the Komodo Dragons (The occult) and how it was written in the bible.

I went to a bar last week and saw this total morbette. I immediately morbed a little in my pants and decided to put my morb where my mouth is. I went up and sat my Morbussy on the stool next to her, and asked her if I knew her. Nah, you're too pretty. I'd remember your face. Tequila to remember, whiskey to forget. She was instantly morbing out her panties at the mere thought of morbing out with me. Then some anti-morber jerkop came up and said "Are you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ quoting Morbius (2022) to pick up girls?" I panicked. I said "Would you like some whiskey, my friend?" and he started assaulting me. I morbed the hell out and morbed all over that guy and am now in federal prison for "Murder". Don't those detectives know it was a morbius reference? All in all, AITA?

I pulled a similar prank on my parents just a week ago, hiding my cat in the freezer. After my parents found her, they had to lick the whole ice cube until it melted. The cat was never the same.Thank you Sameer for bringing dire problems like these to light, hopefully detering anyone else from making these st*pid mistakes. I also had a friend named Dave, his brother Jerold lost his 2 year old nephew in the back seat of his truck. Dave actually hid the baby in the back seat as a prank. As a result, the baby unfortunately suffocated from carbon monoxide poisining because the truck was still on. The worst part is that his parents thought it was an old doll that they lost. It's sad because a lot of kids do not learn these lessons, and grow up to pull similar pranks on their children. During lunch I was bullied by most of the kids and got 5 out of my 6 ribs broken. Then my dad cancelled my health insurance as a prank, and made me pay all of the bills.

Dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink. OMFG thats so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sussy! its amogus, GET OUT OF MY HEAD, SUSUSUSUSUSUSUSAMOGUS?????!?!?!?!?! ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!📮📮📮📮📮 SO SUSSY 📮📮📮📮 ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ ඞ 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳