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9:18 PM - Pile of Glowing Glasses: Do it and you're hot
Teach them? Let me tell you, pretty lady, these things are so damn smart you don’t have to teach them a thing.Think dogs are clever fetching sticks, right? Ha, wrong!
♥♥♥♥ fetch, these little demons can paint, juggle, and engage you in...lengthy conversation.
Don’t like the look of them? That’s ok! This little beasty here can assume any form; it can be a kitten, a horse, a snake baby, your mother crying. It can even be, a second you!
Think about it! A doppelgänger companion can fill in for you at work. Go to your nephew’s christening on your behalf. Or even tag team your wife with you, it’s all good.
Whoa-a! Jeez! Aand – Uhm – as a special offer, the first 50 are absolutely free. There you go! Goodbye!
You look like guys who're into things that cool people are into.
And that’s the case you’re going to love these cool people things I’ve got here for you.
You’d be an uncool fool to walk away without one of these; soul eating demons from the nightmare dimension!Only five dollars each.Now, I know what you're thinking <<But Pat, I’m a busy guy, and an earthly abomination it’s just another mouth to feed>>
Well think again because what I have here ladies and gentlemen, is a genuine no maintenance pet.You can leave him without food, without water. Even without oxygen. You can’t kill these things no matter - how - hard - you - try.
Umgh, yes folks, when I stumbled across these marvellous creatures, I knew I’d found something truly magical.