Recent reviews by Meaty Urologist

A card game with an RPG in the way.

This game was a roller coaster for me, but I think we ended on a high. For context -- I rented this game as a kid when I had a PS2, but never got super far (I believe I got as far as unlocking Irvine in your party), so anything beyond that is new (this is like maybe 4 hours into the game). My review and opinion will be coming from someone who's essentially done a first play-through.

So first and foremost, "remastered" means they made character's faces look a bit nicer while keeping with the PS1 polygon graphics. Backgrounds are still mostly static images that may or may not be animated, so there are several points where it is hard to tell where to go because things don't look like you can interact with them. Cutscenes are also 1999 CGI, which I've heard is a turnoff for some people -- I am neutral about it and don't mind the Y2K feel, but if that is a sticking point for you I'd want you to know now rather than later.

In terms of gameplay, the junction system is extremely unique. You can gather magic from enemies, items, the environment, and from your Guardian Forces (what summons are called in this world) and assign them to specific stats to increase them. Some work better for buffing physical attack, others defense or speed -- you have to play around and see how that changes your character. This means you can acquire super powerful magic and be a walking juggernaut if you plan correctly. It does make fights way easier, but the grind to get this way from early game is no joke and is definitely a time sink.

The other unique thing about this game is the battle system. Unlike any other Final Fantasy game that I know, FF8 is unique in that enemies get stronger as you get stronger. They gain more HP, do more damage, and l earn way better spells ever 10-15 levels. That means you do NOT want to grind in the traditional way, lest you want a final boss with like 1,500,000 HP for each phase. Grinding, instead, looks like gathering the right spells and figuring out a way to "kill" enemies without getting experience points (*cough* use the Card ability and turn them into a Magic, The Gathering playing card *cough*). This aspect of the game can be a little tedious and it takes way more foresight than I thought going into it, especially as there are a number of fixed encounters that you cannot escape from, and some that force you to gain experience as the enemies are immune to the normal means of EXP avoidance. There is an achievement for beating the game and keeping Squall at level 1 the whole time, but like...love yourself. Don't.

My biggest frustrations with this game were mostly around PS1 jank. Menus are very dated, maps are sometimes hard to navigate, the over-world is very bleak and muddy. For the time, these game features were iconique, but looking back it definitely has aspects that did not age well. I also wasn't enamoured with the story -- it has a bit of Kingdom Hearts-style ~timey-wimey~ mess where you need to go into the future to fix the past to save the present that you just need to nod and be like "ok, werk" as it happens. The biggest thing that bugged me is that it is super often that you'll hit a major story point and the game will shuffle your party, often in a way where all their stats are unequipped. You will have to make sure you go back in and fix it before you stumble into a fight you can't handle because 2/3 of your party members are essentially naked. This happened at least 5 times and I was tilted on stream each time.

A lot of the characters are also a bit flat and their "growth" is forced or underplayed -- Squall can't express his emotions, Rinoa wants to be his manic pixy dream girl but will only drop hints about it instead of being direct, Irvine is h-word, Quistis is mature but also not mature but is also a role model but is also jealous and a bit jaded? They all felt like abstract ideas of a person that, had this game gotten the full FF7 remake treatment, could have been way better fleshed out so I felt like I *cared* about them, rather than *tolerated* them.

Lastly, the best aspect of the game is Triple Triad. A super fun mini-game where you battle with cards and then potentially steal them from your opponent if you win. These cards can then be refined in to super important items and spells and is worth the grind to collect. They brought this back in FF14 and it is hands down the best mini-game Square has ever made. Hence why I declared this game "A card game with an RPG in the way."

All in all, this isn't my favorite Final Fantasy and I had my quarrels with it, but I am happy I got to experience it. If you're a fan of the franchise, I also recommend taking the plunge and seeing it for yourself.

Bought it as a "wow, that's quirky" bit, but then ended up really really loving it. Super relaxing, satisfying, and surprisingly detailed. I have not tried the full release yet, but am excited to do so. I just hope we can find that missing cat....

This game has been a lot of fun, and here are my thoughts as someone who hasn't played the 2018 version, nor knows a lot about cars.

After about 10 hours into this game, I can safely say I love the variety the game offers and the ability to work towards getting more options. This includes upgrading your garage, new tools to diagnose problems (assuming this is for non-easy mode?), new features (like a spray booth), and the option to buy your own junked cars and fix them up as you please. I still haven't earned enough credits to do the last item on this list, but I am working towards it.

I play this a lot with my partner, who is a car gay, and he gives me (a non-car-gay) pointers on what to look for and even he is impressed by the knowledge the game gives you from just tinkering around with stuff and pulling them apart. While everything isn't 100% accurate to real life, it's giving me more insight than I had before (ask me what a rubber bushing was last month and I would have said "Who's she??"). While I know only the Nissan DLC is licensed, it is fairly amusing to see cars that look like real ones named like "The Micro" and "Sakura RX-78" (if you know, you know).

I do have some points of feedback from a UX perspective, however. As someone who is less familiar with cars and their parts, sometimes I get into situations where I forget to put an item back and then spend upwards of 15 minutes trying to find where it goes again because I can't submit a job without it back. The *worst* is when it is something small like a clip. While items able to be applied are ghosted out, it would be great if there was some sort of reminder of what's missing -- either a list, or a button that makes the missing pieces flash in a different color so it's more obvious.

It would also be cool to have a way to bulk-sell items so they game doesn't turn into M1 simulator after 2 or 3 jobs and an inventory of dead brake pads.

All in all, really fun game, and I look forward to going further with. Already bought the Nissan and EV DLC and can't wait to see what comes next!