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Diposting: 26 Des 2020 @ 5:41pm

One of the worst AAA shooter games ever made. You know how ULTRAKILL has tons of ways for you to style-kill enemies, like smashing down on them from above, ricocheting a shot off of a coin, punching your own shotgun bullets, and deflecting enemy projectiles?

Yeah, imagine ULTRAKILL, but all of its personality is replaced with 2011 brown-as-hell cover shooter, and instead of having interesting ways to kill enemies, you just have... well, I'll get into that.

You have 2 unique tools for controlling enemy movements: your kick, and your leash. They should be pretty self explanatory as to what they do, but it's worth noting that enemies have a midair slowdown once pulled with the leash, giving you time to interact with them and follow up with something. However, you'll realize soon it's more of a bandaid than it is an addition to your arsenal.

Enemies are way healthier than they should be, taking a good 4 or 5 rifle bullets to the head before going down. This makes kills feel much less satisfying, but more importantly, it gimps the hell out of your kick. Your kick ends up only being a tool for moving enemies, rather than a satisfying finisher or even a softener for your rifle. What does this mean? Well, it ends up being a game where your only useful attacks end up being your revolver, or.. stage hazards.

Stage hazards. This game seems to think that stage hazards are so innovative and insane that they should be used literally everywhere. Killing an enemy with a cactus, knocking them off a cliff, knocking them into an electric field.... At some point, you realize you're doing the exact same thing with a different animation playing. With how little else there is, you end up just playing the game rhythmically, like "okay there's a cactus over there, i'll pull all enemies to me and kick them into the cactus one by one." It barely feels like you're actually comboing enemies and more like you've just "mastered" a very, VERY shallow formula.

The lack of methods for movement and kills is hindered even more by one MAJOR issue with the game: YOU CANNOT JUMP. Making a game about being stylish without the ability to jump is one of the most counterintuitive, ass-backwards decisions I have ever experienced. It makes the game almost feel on-rails, especially since the game periodically gives you minor obstacles that you need to use the sprint button to jump over. It's a complete waste of an entire ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 3D axis.

The complete failure of stylish gameplay is highlighted by the game's desperation to give you style points, in the form of giving you points for hitting a button to immediately look at a setpiece during the game, or giving you points for timing your rope-climbing inputs. I don't hate the idea, but next to a game this shallow it comes off as trying too hard.

As for the game's world, gameplay, and setting outside of the style kill gimmick, it's one of the most generic shooters I've ever seen. You remove glory kills from Doom 2016 and Eternal, you still have two beautiful and fast-paced games with fun enemies and evolving combat encounters. You remove style kills from Bulletstorm, and you get a generic military shooter that actually plays *more boringly* than Call of Duty, a game that Bulletstorm *insulted* for being boring in the form of Duty Calls: The Calm Before the Storm. (This is especially ironic since Bulletstorm released alongside the highly revered Modern Warfare 2.) Apparently, being not a generic military shooter has literally nothing to do with gameplay, as the only unique things about this game are its painfully Borderlands-"inspired" sci-fi world of brown wasteland, and absolutely awful dialogue of unlikable characters and cringe-inducing jokes. The game even has a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ turret section, with 0 opportunities to do anything interesting or out of the ordinary. This game's more scripted than any Call of Duty of the time, or possibly ever.

Overall, Bulletstorm's only merit is that of an example of everything FPS games shouldn't be. It gloats over how different and unlike other modern shooters it is while doing absolutely nothing to innovate or stay unique, while also riding trends. This isn't helped by this "remaster" costing a whopping 40 dollars for the worst 6 hours of FPS gameplay most people will ever play. Don't even get me started on the Duke Nukem DLC.
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