Just a quick reminder. If you are a Netflix subscriber in the SEA area - expect some server issues. Lots of single females are going to spend their day at home watching Netflix and eating chocolate because Shirou is not going to go out with them because he is focused on getting Top 10 Rank in Dota 2

Just a quick reminder. If you are a Netflix subscriber in the SEA area - expect some server issues. Lots of single females are going to spens their day at home watching Netflix and eating chocolate because Shirou is not going to go out with them on Christmas Eve because he is focused on getting Top 10 Rank in Dota 2

I am a professional Dota2 report submitter. I do not care about winning or losing. I have one goal and one goal only. As soon as a game ends, I instantly disconnect and am greeted with the match overview screen. My mouse drifts toward the match ID. Within 20 milliseconds I've copied it to the clipboard and opened the match page on DotaBuff. Like clockwork, I hover my cursor over each one of my teammates' names and click the middle mouse button. Four new tabs open. I frantically navigate to each tab and, like an esteemed pianist playing a beautiful symphony, my fingers gracefully apply pressure to the CTRL and F keys before typing the words "Single Draft".

I see my mid player was in low priority just three days ago and has been on a loss streak since getting out. Reported. My support Silencer played a good game and actually led us to victory with excellent communication and warding. However, his Dotabuff shows that he is a frequently Single Draft player. I report him without a second thought. My Bounty Hunter teammate was muted in-game and kept spamming chat wheel. This means he was probably reported several times in recent games. I add one more to his collection. I go away for five minutes to prepare a peanut butter and banana sandwich. When I return to my computer, the sight I am greeted with brings a tear to my eye.

We've recently taken action against one or more players you reported for bad conduct. Thank you for helping to improve the Dota2 community!

I can hardly contain my excitement. My hands shake as my mouse moves towards the "OK" button. As soon as I click it, yet another pop-up with the same message appears. I can't believe my luck. Two people put into low priority due to my reports. I'm almost too afraid to click "OK" now. Three people going to low priority from one game due to my reports alone would be too much to ask for, wouldn't it? Nevertheless, I muster the courage and am greeted once again with the most satisfying message one can receive in this life:

We've recently taken action against one or more players you reported for bad conduct. Thank you for helping to improve the Dota2 community!

Armed with three fresh reports, I click the "Play Dota" button and get ready to repeat the process. I am a professional Dota2 report submitter.

ＨＥＹ　ＳＨＩＲＯＵ，　Ｉ’Ｍ　ＴＲＹＩＮＧ　ＴＯ　ＬＥＡＲＮ　ＴＯ　ＰＬＡＹ　ＲＩＫＩ．　Ｉ　ＪＵＳＴ　ＨＡＶＥ　Ａ　ＱＵＥＳＴＩＯＮ　ＡＢＯＵＴ　ＴＨＥ　ＳＫＩＬＬ　ＢＵＩＬＤ：　ＳＨＯＵＬＤ　Ｉ　ＭＡＸ　ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＹＯＵ　ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢＢＥＤ　ＣＧＣ，　ＳＭＯＫＥＳＣＲＥＥＮ　ＳＯ　ＴＨＥＲＥ＇Ｓ ３２５ ＡＯＥ ＤＲＡＭＡ ＡＲＯＵＮＤ ＹＯＵ，　ＯＲ ＢＬＩＮＫ ＳＴＲＩＫＥ ＬＩＫＥ ＴＨＥ ＷＡＹ ＹＯＵ ＢＬＩＮＫＥＤ ＢＡＣＫ ＴＯ ＣＧＣ ＡＦＴＥＲ ＴＨＥＹ ＨＡＤ ＷＯＮ ＴＩ