I Made a FEMBOY SQUIRT! ostentatiously positions itself as both a daring narrative experience and an attempt to push boundaries within the SQUIRT! subgenre, but ultimately the developers lacked the expertise to achieve a deep/skillful/fun puzzle system, with writing skill producing prose verging on bathos. More importantly, however, is the fact that the game does not actually feature artwork for the climax (pun intended) of the game. Yes, believe it or not, the game does not have artwork for the femboy squirting, despite it being the title of the game. Additionally, there are unhandled exceptions at a couple points in the game, where it literally shows an error message. Luckily the game doesn't crash or anything so it's still playable, but it's pretty jarring.

Despite some innovative ideas, my experience left me with a bad taste in my mouth.


If you're reading this, you'll likely already know that at this point the genre has thousands of entries ranging from forgettable to staple. I went into this game expecting something in the middle. However, what I encountered was far from typical.
The formulaic combat we're used to has been eschewed in favor of strategic, multi-layered puzzle gameplay, requiring players to balance emotional, physical, and narrative elements, all of which impact the unfolding storyline. On the surface this sounds amazing, but the execution had major flaws I'll get into later.

The developers have made the all-too-common error of mistaking breadth for depth. Like a MOBA with 100 characters each with 4 abilities and a low mechanical skill ceiling, the layered mechanics ultimately do little more than serve as memorization checks, which is made worse by the fact that the game often punishes experimentation, and offers unclear feedback on choices.

If you made it this far into the review, I'll do you a solid and let you know that I was too lazy to write the rest of this so you can stop reading now as the following is just noise to fill out the post.

One clear example of this occurs during the Sanctuary chapter, where you must juggle the Affection Gauge, the timed Neural Sync Grid puzzle, and the Arousal Meter, all throughout the sequence. During this part, you need to choose specific dialogue options with River to keep his Affection Gauge in the "Comfort Zone," while also completing the Neural Sync Grid, a complex tile-matching puzzle that shifts patterns every few seconds.

If River's Affection Gauge drops too low, he becomes "distracted," slowing down your progress on the puzzle and making it harder to complete in the given time. However, the game doesn’t clearly indicate which dialogue choices will keep him in the Comfort Zone, often leading to unpredictable outcomes. Experimenting with different options frequently results in failing both the puzzle and the relationship interaction. Since there’s no clear feedback on why your choices failed, the sequence becomes a memorization test, forcing you to replay it multiple times until you remember the exact sequence of responses and puzzle moves. This punishing loop strips away any sense of meaningful choice, making the game feel like an arbitrary guessing game rather than a strategic challenge.


Visually, I Made a FEMBOY SQUIRT! impresses with a polished, stylized art direction that’s both vibrant and eye-catching. The character designs, especially River, the titular femboy, are well-crafted, with attention to detail in their animations and expressions. The environments, while relatively simple, complement the game’s aesthetic, and the UI is clean and functional, never distracting from the gameplay.

However, there’s one glaring issue: the game completely lacks artwork for the actual SQUIRT! moment, which is the climax of both the narrative and gameplay. Despite being the central premise, when River finally squirts at the end, there’s no visual representation—just a blank screen with sound effects. This omission is not only a major disappointment, but it also feels like an absurd oversight, given the genre’s expectations. For a game that markets itself around this moment, failing to deliver the core visual payoff feels like a dealbreaker. It undermines the entire experience, leaving the player unfulfilled, and frankly, it’s a ridiculous choice for a SQUIRT! game.


I Made a FEMBOY SQUIRT! offers a moderate amount of replayability, mainly due to its branching narrative and multiple endings based on your choices with River and other characters. Each decision you make influences dialogue and relationship dynamics, encouraging players to experiment with different approaches to unlock alternate outcomes. There are also a few hidden paths and secret scenes that are only accessible by fulfilling certain conditions during the game, adding an extra layer of content for completionists.

However, the replay value is somewhat diminished by the frustrating gameplay mechanics and technical issues. The memorization-heavy puzzles and lack of clear feedback make multiple playthroughs feel more tedious than rewarding. While some players may find it worth revisiting to see different endings or unlock all achievements, the game’s complexity and bugs may deter many from fully exploring everything it has to offer.

In the end, while there is content to return to, the overall experience doesn't strongly compel multiple playthroughs unless you're highly invested in the narrative.


I Made a FEMBOY SQUIRT! is an ambitious game that attempts to push the boundaries of the SQUIRT! subgenre with complex mechanics, layered storytelling, and a unique art style. While it succeeds in crafting a visually appealing experience and offers some intriguing choices in narrative branching, the game is ultimately let down by its overly convoluted gameplay and technical shortcomings. The lack of artwork for the key SQUIRT! moment, combined with constant interruptions from unhandled exceptions, significantly diminishes the experience.

Despite its bold ideas, the game feels unfinished and unpolished, making it hard to recommend, even to fans of the genre.


213/367