Desacabose's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 8 May, 2015 @ 2:17am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 22 Mar, 2015 @ 2:30am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 9:33am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2018 @ 7:26am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 8 Jul, 2018 @ 3:04pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 7:00am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 7:48am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 9:07am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 9:56am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2018 @ 4:39pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2018 @ 5:58pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2019 @ 3:28am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2018 @ 5:15pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2019 @ 3:28am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2018 @ 7:09am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2019 @ 5:36am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2019 @ 3:28am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2019 @ 2:26pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2019 @ 3:28am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2019 @ 3:28am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2019 @ 4:58am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2018 @ 4:53pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2018 @ 5:35pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 9:57am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2018 @ 5:17pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2018 @ 4:12pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2019 @ 3:28am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2018 @ 7:45am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 7:36am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 8 Jul, 2018 @ 3:06pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2014 @ 6:55pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 8:58am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2014 @ 8:25pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2019 @ 3:08pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 8:29am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2019 @ 3:28am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2018 @ 7:02am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2018 @ 5:24pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2018 @ 6:01pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

0 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

13 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

1 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30