"Suicide is badass, no matter what anyone says."
-Mahatma Gandhi


"Can you smell it? I can. The smell wafts through the air like a thousand winds, with the scent of a thousand apes, and the force of a thousand pugilists. Unfortunate as it is, that scent is the scent of a scent which takes its scent from another scent which portrudes from Root Beer.

"Our signature item since the opening of our first tiny root beer stand in 1919. It’s caffeine-free, made with real cane sugar and a proprietary blend of herbs, bark, spices and berries. It’s always gone hand-in-hand with celebrations and good times. This frosty mug deserves a celebration of its own."
-The Entire Austrian Army

"Fhjqaseeksahlspriesentrooknfuldenherdedrmnich"
-The Duke of Wellington