K.'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 10:36am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 11:01am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 11:14am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 11:16am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2020 @ 10:31am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 8:41am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2015 @ 11:25pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 6 Aug, 2015 @ 9:45am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 8 Jul, 2020 @ 8:32am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2020 @ 10:27am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 6 Aug, 2015 @ 9:54am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 6 Aug, 2015 @ 11:35am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 6 Aug, 2015 @ 9:03am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2015 @ 4:22am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 8 Jul, 2020 @ 8:30am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2015 @ 11:31pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 10:36am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 10:40am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2020 @ 10:33am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 16 Aug, 2015 @ 3:35am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 10:39am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 12:19pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 10:35am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2020 @ 10:34am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 8:37am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 11:52am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2015 @ 11:49pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 9:09am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 12:43pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 6 Aug, 2015 @ 10:01am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 10:56am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2015 @ 11:24pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 12:30pm

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 12:41pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2015 @ 12:29pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 12:26pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 8 Jul, 2020 @ 8:59am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

18 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

5 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

3 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

0 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

8 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

27 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

4 / 30